Oluwatobiloba Amusan, Nigeria’s world record holder and world champion in the 100m hurdles once shared her experience navigating her way through a horrendous ocean of passion and parental influence over her career choice.
According to the 25-year-old Ijebu-Ode, Ogun State-born sprint hurdler her father once burnt her training gear to stop her from participating in sports.
“My parents are both teachers, they are strict disciplinarians. When you grow up in such a family, they feel you should focus on school. And being a female, they think you are going to go astray, lose focus, and all of that.
“But because my mum saw what I didn’t see (in) myself, she felt she could give me a chance. And she kept telling me not to disappoint her. My mum would tell my dad I was going to church while I sneaked to practice or tell him I was going to a school debate while I went to an out-of-state competition. That’s where it all started.
“My dad got really mad one time when he found out (I was running). He burnt all my training gear and told my mum that’s the last time he wanted to see me in a stadium,” Amusan told BBC Sport Africa.
Similarly, Super Falcons striker Asisat Oshoala revealed that she faced a lot of challenges with her family before she started playing professionally.
“Growing up, I never had the intention to play football. I wanted to be a lawyer. But I changed my mind because I saw I was good at playing football.
“My parents did not want me to play football. I was always punished every time I got back home dirty, especially my dad because he wanted me to focus on school work.
“Sometimes, they would refuse to give me food as punishment whenever I went to play football. And I would have to run to my grandma’s place so they wouldn’t beat me. However, it all changed when the opportunity to play for FC Robo came,” Oshoala said in her FIFA documentary.
Stanley Alaubi, a senior lecturer at the University of Port Harcourt speaking on this with BusinessDay said passion is essential to making success in one’s career.
“I think it is a passion that makes a student succeed in a choice course which he or she chose by himself or herself. The choice of course of parents imposed on a student can never make that student a successful because passion is lacking,” he said.
Alaubi explained that most parents impose career lines or courses in the university for economic reasons, especially in a country like Nigeria where the economy is in the decline.
“I think most parents do so in order to force their children to lucrative courses like medicine, law, pharmacy, engineering, nursing etc; they don’t want their children to study berated courses like education, sociology, agriculture, and zoology among others that have little or no economic fortunes. However, it is the passion that brings out the best in students,” he said.
Ekene Ndigwe, a graduate of Covenant University, Ota in Ogun State told BusinessDay that his parents influenced him to study computer engineering.
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However, he revealed that he always wanted to study architecture due to personal interest.
Ekene further said that he learned some things from the course he studied in school; however, it was not something he completely wanted to do.
Concerning parents deciding for their children what to study in the university or line of a career in life; he said that it all depends on individuals.
According to the young entrepreneur, who is now managing his father’s firm, some parents can actually detect their children’s potential early in life. And therefore, may want to guide them to actualise their giftedness.
On the other hand, children sometimes do not know what they want in life. Hence, they are liable to make mistakes when it comes to the choice of course or career in life.
Gboyega Ogundele, a teacher shared his bitter experience trying to force his child into studying a particular course in the university.
“My career cum course choice wasted my child’s time, writing JAMB more than three times but I thank God she is a graduate today but the junior brother whom I allowed to make his choice finished and served ahead of her. It was a bitter experience,” she said.
He admonished parents to desist from such an act, stating that it is absolutely wrong for any parent to do so.
Friday Erhabor, the director of media and strategies at Marklenez Limited urges parents to play more of an encouraging role than dictating their children’s career path in life.
“Parents are supposed to encourage their children to follow their area of interest. But a lot of parents out of sheer ego and pride want their children to pick courses that massage their ego as parents.
“You, therefore, see a situation where a student would love to be a performing artist and the parent is forcing him or her to go for medicine,” he said.
Erhabor, who frowned at parents who mandate their children to follow a line of study in the university against the child’s passion and interest, said, “Interest and passion are keys to success and happiness. If you force a child to read a course he had no passion for, such a child ends up reading your prescribed course but after graduation dumps his degree to pursue his actual dream.”
He admonished parents to work with school academic counsellors of their children in order to actually help the student to discover his or her interest and passion.
Similarly, Anthony Echezona, who had wanted to become a pilot but found himself studying Library and Information Science as influenced by his parents would urge parents to keep in mind that their children have minds and passions of their own, hence, should be allowed to express them, while parents’ guide.
However, he counselled that children should not totally jettison the experiences and guidance from their parents.
Experts believe the reason some parents intend to influence the career choice of their children is sometimes parent live their lives through their children. They try to see themselves in their children. For instance, when parents fail to achieve their goals due to family or financial issues, they might want to see their children fulfill such dreams. In such cases, parents may force their children to adopt their dreams.
However, they argue that it is always better that parents and children should decide together on the career they would pursue. Children can get information about the latest trends while the parents can get their practical experience to the table to make a decision.
Research has shown that parents are the major influential factor in the career development of a child. Nevertheless, children in some schools of thought argue should choose their career path and live their dreams. But the real-world experience of parents definitely should not be put on a back seat.
Experts argue that the transition to adulthood is both an exciting and challenging time for adolescents especially those with intellectual disabilities.
And that parent often wonders what their children will do when they are grown up.
Mathatha Viola and Ndhlovu Danie in their study posit that in career the development process, parents are one of the most important and influential elements but they may not be aware.
They reiterated that parents have the power and ability to shape, sustain and develop their children’s career development through their positive involvement in educational activities of their children.
“Involvement of parents in the education of their children is often and especially critical during the transition to life after school and it has been well perceived,” they said.
According to Latashia Perry, the founder and chief executive officer of Kids Like Mine and an award-winning children’s author, “Parental involvement refers to parents helping their children improve their school work by providing support, encouragement and establishing a suitable home environment for career development.
“It takes many forms including good parenting in the home, provision of a secure and stable environment, intellectual stimulation, parent-child discussion, good models of constructive social, educational values high aspirations relating to personal fulfilment and good citizenship, contact with schools to share information, participation in school events and participation in school governance.”
