• Sunday, June 23, 2024
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BusinessDay

Why do you want get to get married?

Marriage not just about two becoming one, it is also source of more happiness survey shows

Tade met Femi at an event, prior to this time, she had been very lonely after experiencing a heartbreak three years back. She became isolated and withdrawn and this lifestyle worsened as a result of living in an estate.

For Tade, making friends seems like a chore, and as a very selective lady, she hardly found people to connect with. She was either judging them based on their appearance, fashion taste, money status or background. This type of lifestyle has endeared her only to rich men who sweep her off her feet with lies and pretense.

Tade grew up with a single mother who went through numerous heartbreaks while seeking for a potential husband and this led her to stop trusting men, she concluded that it was better to be with a rich man who can give her a better life than be with an average man who will still dump her.

So far, Tade has dated 6 men who have really spoilt her with money, but the relationships do not last more than 6-9 months. The friends she used to have tried advising her, but she refused to listen, and this made them withdraw from her.

After the last heartbreak that happened, she decided that she was going to enjoy her space till she finds someone who is worth it both in money and style. Fast forward to her honouring her sister’s birthday event, she sighted Femi from afar. Femi is a married man who hangs out frequently with his male friends after successful business deals. He was also drawn to Tade but not for dating purposes, he took keen interest when she walked up to him to introduce herself and asked for his contact. He wondered how she got so much courage to do that. He decided to keep tabs with her via calls and chats with the hope to mentor her as a young lady, but he was faced with constant care and endearment from Tade. Tade was bent on wooing him with every seductive power in her, she never bothered to ask if he was married though, she simply focused on his business and friends.

Read also: Effects of father absence on marriage

Two weeks after their initial connection, they planned for the first date. During their conversation via chats, Tade discovered that Femi was her kind of man, a luxurious, rich and successful businessman who understands how to make a lady feel special with gifts of airtime and data. He had sent this to her twice when she asked for it. The D-Day finally came for their hangout. Tade suggested a highbrow hotel on the Island to give her the fine taste of luxury, wine and cuisine.

As they laughed and talked over food, Tade finally noticed a wedding band on his fingers. “Are you married?”, she asked. “Oh yes! We do not seem to have talked about relationships yet”, he added!

“Wow! I never knew, I thought you would become mine alone” she said.

“Oops, how do you mean?”, Femi asked.

“I really like you Femi, she blurted out. I was hoping we could build a relationship and have fun while doing that.”

“Oh really? Well, I am a faithful husband to my darling wife, and I do not mingle like that.” Tade’s face frowned as she wondered why he was proving hard to get.

“Are you saying you have never had a side chic?”

“Yes, I have never and would never”, Femi said with boldness and a soft smile across his face.

“How long have you been married?” She asked amusingly.

“I have been married for 8 years and I am accountable to my wife, she is also aware of our date here today.”

Tade drops her fork in amazement.

Read also: 10 Amazing tips to manage a long-distance marriage

“What? You told her about me? What kind of man does that?”

“Well, Tade, I brought you here to speak to you about your life. From the chats we had, I discovered that you are infatuated with me, and you probably have a spec of men you look out for. You are 27 and I think it is time to redefine your life.”

“This game cannot lead you to a good man who can make marriage work with you, it is high time you think with the end in mind. What kind of marriage do you want to have? What kind of man fits that picture? What do you look out for in a man? What kind of foundation and upbringing did you have? Why do you want to get married?”

Story fades out…..

So, I will ask you, why do you want to get married? What are your parameters for getting married? What are your goals? What are you doing to become the right person for another person? How are you investing in your spiritual, emotional and mental health? Can you easily identify the right one for you?

Marriage is not all about money even though it is a necessary tool. Your purpose for getting married should not be reduced to worldly gains and pleasure. Think with the end in mind, you need someone who can navigate life and challenges with you for the next 50 years, so think clearly about this decision and do not let your background determine your choice. The easiest way to start with by investing in books, courses and coaching relationships that can help you gain clarity, become intentional and prepare adequately for marriage.