With the high rate of separation, divorce and single parenting in the society, we cannot ignore the fact that the absence of a father, whether due to loss, physical absence or emotional unavailability, can have significant effects on an individual’s life, including their marriage. People react uniquely to this circumstance and are influenced by various factors such as their values, mindset, personality, coping mechanisms, and support systems.
We need to begin to raise a self-awareness campaign about the dangers of a lack of fatherhood in the life of a person, but it does not spell doom. If people can become intentional about seeking help, support and therapy in their journey, they have a higher tendency of turning out better unlike when there is no structure put in place.
If you had a father absence and you have found yourself struggling to be stable in a relationship which ends up sabotaging your focus and commitment, here are signs that your father absence reality may be affecting you now;
· Emotional instability: Your emotions can be unstable when you have no one to connect with to share that bond that occurs between a father and a daughter. The absence of a supportive and nurturing father figure can impact your emotional stability, leading to emotional outbursts or emotional withdrawal in your relationship or marriage.
Read also: The significance of a fathers influence
· Attachment Issues: Growing up without a present and engaged father can make you develop attachment issues, which can impact your ability to form secure and healthy emotional connections with partners later in life. If you are currently in a relationship or married, you may have noticed yourself giving up easily when there are conflicts thereby making you threaten to leave when issues come up. You may develop a fear of abandonment, which can affect how you approach conflicts or challenges in marriage. Otherwise, you may also become overly dependent on your partner, seeking the emotional support you never received, but you may also find yourself avoiding emotional intimacy altogether.
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· Lack of trust and intimacy in your relationships or marriage: Having an absent father figure can lead to challenges in trusting your partner and being vulnerable. This may result in difficulties with intimacy and emotional closeness within a marriage. You may struggle with committing fully due to fears of the relationship not lasting or repeating past experiences of abandonment.
· Communication and Poor esteem challenges: You may struggle to communicate openly and honestly in your marriage. You may find it difficult to express your needs, desires, emotions, and concerns. Absent fathers can contribute to feelings of insecurity and low self-esteem in adulthood. These feelings may impact how you perceive yourself and your self-worth within your marriage.
· Mirroring and Role Modeling: Authority figures like a father play a crucial role in modeling behaviours and attitudes related to relationships, gender roles, and conflict resolution. The lack of a positive male role model can influence how you approach your own marriage. This can also connect back to parenting your children too. Growing up without a present father may result in challenges in understanding parental roles and responsibilities, which can affect co-parenting dynamics in the individual’s own family.
Remember that having an absent father does not mean that you cannot rise out of it, you can overcome these challenges with self-awareness, personal growth, and the support of a caring partner. Seeking therapy or counseling can help you address these issues. Additionally, open communication and a willingness to work on the relationship together can help bridge the gaps caused by the absence of a father figure. But you have to start by admitting the challenges that comes with it and have a desire to become intentional. If you need to speak directly for counseling, reach out via [email protected]
