Going through a heartbreak is not an easy one to pull, it can be very draining and overwhelming. Flashing back through memories that you built together can take you deep into heaviness and you would need to consciously pull yourself out of it through the right support system. I’ve been there and trust me, it’s not a great place to be.
You end up feeling anxious and nervous, with your heart racing fast at every trigger. Your mind remains unstable, belly rumbling and face looking weird at the thought of all that you’ve experienced.
Suffering a heartbreak is not limited to a relationship call off, you can be married and experience betrayal from your spouse also. You may have stumbled on some chats, caught your spouse red handed or be suspicious. You may also have gone through a big argument with your spouse or best friend. Whichever the case may be, it is not an easy ride but you can overcome it.
So, here are few ways to deal with the pain that you are faced with daily:
1. Don’t deny your pain, admit it to your mind that there’s a current reality.
This is the truth, you cannot keep pretending that you are fine. You are actually hurt and your mind must come to the realisation of this. Tell yourself the truth so that you can begin the process of healing.
2. Begin to change the meaning in your mind as your brain doesn’t know the difference between an imagination and reality.
I know you may find yourself thinking about all the beautiful memories you both shared, while you are thinking about what you shared, think about life after this heartbreak and visualise it in a positive way.
3. Stay in a circle of positive and funny people. You need a strong support system.
This is not the time to be isolated, I know that you may think it is better to keep your issue to yourself or avoid everyone, but sincerely, withdrawal only worsens your condition. You need to talk to someone who understands what you are going through. This can be a counsellor or a friend that you trust. Find someone to talk with who can make you feel relieved and human.
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4. Watch some comedies or funny movies in between your breaks.
Sometimes, you need to distract yourself with some good exposures to movies and skits that can make you laugh.
A merry heart doeth good like a medicine: But a broken spirit drieth the bones.
-Proverbs 17:22 KJV
5. Pray for strength. You can ask the Lord to strengthen you this season so that you don’t lose your emotional stamina. Wake up every day and experience the healing of the Lord.
6. Journal down how you feel. This is a good time to journal your feelings, if you bottle them up, it would eat you up. Take your time daily to let out how you feel.
7. Affirm yourself positively
This is a powerful way of speaking positively to yourself. Your mind needs to constantly see that you are valuable and worth it. Write out positive words and confess them daily till it becomes your reality. Let your mind meditate on the positive times you’ve faced in your life.
8. Don’t lose up. Believe that there’s a better future, give yourself some time to heal gradually. As you go through the journey of healing, you will become better as you deal with the issues.
9. Evaluate yourself and the relationship
While you may be grieving the experience you had through the betrayal, it is important to begin to pick out the points that matters in the relationship you had. Why were you in that relationship? What really happened? What did you learn and what can you do differently? What red flags did you ignore? Helping yourself understand these can make it easier to realise that better days will come.
10. Pick your lessons. Every ending always comes with its own lessons too. What are your lessons? What are the joys of that relationship? Who did you become? Picking few things that you are grateful for can also change the way you perceive the issue. What if God was saving you from something worse? Be grateful for your journey.
11. Seek therapy. You will need to engage therapy so that you can have a professional touch to what you went through. You may try applying these tips and you struggle with it, but a professional will help you deal with the issues better.
If you would like to speak about this, you can send an email to [email protected]