Whether you are single or married, one of the skills you must learn is communication with intentionality and style. If you are married, do you remember that your spouse got connected to you because of how you both used to gist a lot during your conversations?
Do you remember those long conversations filled with grins, so many sparks, and interest? And if you are still single, do you realize that being able to hold an intelligent conversation with anyone can win their hearts? They always say that the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach or sex but I bet that intelligent men are moved more by your ability to hold an intelligent conversation with some sense of humour than just your ability to cook or ride.
Let me share 7 beautiful ways to turn up your conversation with your man:
Be an active listener: No one enjoys having a conversation when you are always distracted by your phone or the worries of life. If your partner discovers that you are not really listening, it can turn them off. And when you do not listen actively, you can end up missing the main points or intention behind their conversation. Many people communicate beyond their little words and you need to connect deeply to feel it. How do you listen? Keep a focused gaze, and give some interesting response like ‘hmm, really? oh wow!’.
Engage deeply with questions: Open-ended questions are always the best way to go. A yes or no response leaves the conversation dry and you don’t want to bore your partner by always sounding dull. Learn to ask questions that draw depth from the well of your partner’s heart. You will be amazed by the secrets and important details that your partner can share with you when you engage deeply.
Add value to your partner: When your partner shares their problems or needs, be that woman who is willing to add value in the little way you can.
Read also: Do not live a lie ‘managing’ your abuse or abuser, speak out!
For instance:
You: Have you been able to make some research on that project that you had to do?
Him: Oh yes, but I have been a little busy.
Instead of just saying:
You: Okay then. (Add some ginger to the conversation to boost your partner’s ability to be motivated), make it sound like-
You: Really? Can I help you with the first research? Have you also tried setting an alarm to remind you? How can I help you to make it happen faster?
Now, this sounds like an interested and committed partner because communication must flow from a place of deep interest in a person’s life and activities. This is what makes partners enjoy each other’s strength and companionship.
Initiate conversations: You don’t always have to wait for your man to start the communication, make it happen too. Be that partner who loves enjoying time with your partner. There has to be a balance so that it does not seem like you are clingy though, but during important moments, drop messages through different mediums to show that you are open for a conversation. Don’t be afraid to flirt.
Affirm your partner: Let every conversation be embedded with words that inspire your partner to be better. Whether they share a problem or weakness, use it as an opportunity to speak positive words and make them feel good. This makes a man trust his woman more because he knows he can always feel safe with her.
Explore and Learn: Be a versatile woman. You may find it difficult to get into a conversation with your partner if you know nothing about many things that ties you together. It is important to read and learn daily so that it can improve your ability to speak on important matters without feeling left out.
Be open-minded and kind: If your partner always feels that you are rigid during conversations, it can become difficult to keep talking to you. Your beliefs might be slightly different but still, learn to listen and focus on the communication more than your beliefs. Other things that can irritate your partner are if your words are usually filled with condemnation, judgment, gaslighting, and blame. Don’t be afraid to be open enough to engage with wisdom. You don’t always have to be right and this is what I have learnt over time with my husband.
There is a difference between being opinionated and being a friend, the way you speak and how open you are to learning without being forceful makes conversations with you easy to manage. Now, go and get better with your communication in your marriage and relationships. You can always reach out via [email protected]
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