You know how we use to say that we prefer to be beaten than to hear harmful and abusive words from our parents? That’s exactly how it is in a relationship though no one is getting beaten up, not allowed. Winks.
In the beginning of a relationship, it feels like butterflies in the tummy and those mushy feelings that come when you talk or think about your partner but what happens as days, weeks, months and years pass by? You get used to each other, argue and fight most times.
Now, it doesn’t matter how angry you get, you should avoid hurting your partner with the following:
1. “You Never, Can’t or Don’t” kinds of statement.
It is always better to find a peaceful time to discuss with your partner about specific things you don’t like rather than bringing it up during a misunderstanding frequently in a negative way. If you don’t like how your partner calls you less frequently, you should discuss it at an appropriate time than always attacking with extreme words. It hurts and would make your partner feel that you do not appreciate the times they were intentional.
2. Threatening to break up or leave.
Now, this can get messy and hurt your partner. If you keep threatening to leave during a disagreement, your partner might feel you truly mean it so it’s either you don’t joke about it at all. It’s quite childish and shows that you don’t really care or you are being forced to be in the relationship. It is time to deal with any trauma that may be leading you to such statements. Heal so that your relationship can thrive. Conflicts are normal in a relationship, it should not send you into a flight mode rather, show interest, be humble and willing to navigate through it.
3. Using Abusive or Negative words.
Respect is very critical in a relationship. You should not get to the point of calling each other names because that qualifies as a verbal form of abuse. Negativity should be shunned if you want the relationship to be healthy.
4. Disrespecting your partner’s friends and family.
It’s okay to get angry sometimes but the moment you begin to throw negative words against your partner’s family or friends, you are beginning to go past your boundaries and that’s a red flag on its own.
5. Shutting your partner off or playing the silent treatment.
You should allow your partner to show some expression at times. The moment you begin to shut him or her off, it can affect your partner’s self-esteem. When you also have an argument, it’s best to sort things out rather than using the silent treatment on your partner. It’s a way of saying you can’t face the truth of the matter.
Your relationship is as healthy as the both of you involved.
Evaluate your relationship now or your partner and observe if it has been verbally abusive or not.
