• Tuesday, July 23, 2024
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Mmesoma: Let those without sins cast the first stones!

Mmesoma: Let those without sins cast the first stones!

They caught a woman in ‘the very act of adultery’(probably ‘self-adultery’ because no man was co-arraigned with her or she used a native vibrator ), marched the unlucky lady before Jesus and sought a validation for the punishment: execution by stoning.

They all had various shapes and sizes of stones ready. As they continued pressing Jesus to ‘say something’ , he threw the bombshell: ‘He without sin should cast the first stone’. There was dead silence and that was where the matter ended as the bloodthirsty mob dropped their stones and sneaked away, with their heads bowed… starting from the eldest!( John,8:3-11)

I was indescribably shocked when Mmesoma admitted that she forged her JAMB result. She had been a brilliant student as her secondary entrance result and even her original score of 249 showed. She looked so innocent and timid, and she boldly defended herself.

Even after the statement by JAMB, I still believed that something must have gone wrong somewhere but definitely not that the harmless village-girl I saw had manipulated her Jamb result. But that is over; she had admitted by herself and with her own mouth. Of course, forging JAMB result is like defrauding a bank: you must be found out, today or tomorrow.

And then, a flurry of several rapid responses and reactions. JAMB confirmed the manipulation and imposed its sanction within 48 hours or so. Anambra Sate Government set up a committee, which turned in its findings within 24 hours. Chidoka gave all the reasons why the 300+ score could not have been genuine, agreeing with JAMB and exonerating his examination center.

And many of us joined the latest version of the crowd that voted for Barabas ( Mt,27:17)except that in this case they bayed for the blood of the guilty: ‘crucify her; give us her head on a platter; no mercy for the criminal. That serves her right; she asked for it’ !

And then I remembered Jonathan Swift, ( 1667-1745)an Irish satirist, essayist and political pamphleteer, who made the simple but weighty statement that ‘laws are like cobwebs, which may catch small flies but let wasps and hornets break through’! Mmesoma is ‘in’ because she is a nobody.

A sneaky snake swallowed N36m in a JAMB office. It took at least 2 days to suspend the staff who consorted with the snake and it took more than a year to arraign her criminal gang. Up to this day of our Lord, the son of man is not sure that the matter had been brought to a closure!

Mbah allegedly forged his NYSC certificate, went on to sue the NYSC Director General, (claiming N20bn) for the audacity to say so, procured a fake DSS operative to ratify his malfeasance and is now His Excellency, given executive orders in Enugu State.

Ganduje (I forgot that his baptismal name), was caught ‘in the very act’ of collecting Dollarised kick-forward.  He said ‘it wasn’t me’ and when tomorrow came and they came for him, he ran to the court and obtained an order retraining anybody or organisation from ‘ harassing, intimidating, or detaining’ him, his family or even his friends. The Adamawa REC, Hudu Yinusa-Ari, did a weird version of what they did at INEC HQ and when the law reluctantly went for him, he went to court to obtain a restraining order.

PMBs certificate matter is still blowing in the wind and that of BAT is neither here nor there and so it is with many ‘excellencies’. The National Assembly is perhaps the largest single assembly of thieves or ‘former thieves’, EFCC alumni and ICPC customers. But Life goes on!

As my online friend Agu Onwuzuruoha forcefully put it ‘Mmesomagate is a testimony to mischievous ostracism in the land and the same people who are poking the mote in Mmesoma’s eyes refuse to point at the logs in the eyes of Peterman who are now in control of the Presidency and National Assembly.

In this season of manufactured Isaiahnism … we cannot afford to be selective in our morality (You can contact me for the special dictionary to decode Agu’s vocabulary). Mmesoma is in a mess because she cannot afford a SAN! She does not even need a SAN; even a small boy lawyer could have marched the break on the indecent haste with which the matter was handled.

I also dare say that Mmesoma is a girl of honour and there is more hope in her than in the scoundrels masquerading as our role-models. At least, she agreed that she ‘committed’, apologised and threw in the towel. The elders will not accept, apologise or throw in the towel even if caught on camera, with documented evidence or certified by the local and foreign courts.

However, the biblical story above did not stop with the shameful disappearance of the male mobocrats , Jesus told the woman to ‘go and sin no more’. The same advise I have for Mmesoma but a several words have sprouted from this incidence and still counting: mmesomaism; mmesomaistic, mmesomania, mmesomagate! That is why the story will not die quickly!

However, contrary to the popular opinion, my beloved, Ada Muo( PhD) does not agree that Mmesoma should be sanctioned because ‘That will not be Nigerian at all’! Her opinion, which is ‘realistically different and typically Nigerian follows hereunder. Read on!

For making such unusual waves, all of us should line up and go to Mmeso’s house to congratulate her, the same way BAT has been congratulated even by other countries. Nothing less than a convoy of at least a hundred and twenty most expensive non-Nigerian SUVs should be employed to make that visit as memorable as possible. The young girl deserves it. She is as smart as her president. She is very sharp!

For achieving such feat, the federal government should give her a first grade national merit award for being so clever. It should be nothing less than that type Buhari gave BAT before vacating Aso Rock. In addition, all those award-winning very honourable senators, especially Akpabio, should formally adopt her. Her DNA matches theirs perfectly. The girl is cast in the image and likeness of our political leaders and so should be the child in whom they are well pleased.

For her very daring spirit, the 3 million Naira scholarship must not be taken away from her. It a well-deserved compensation for hard work. Has anybody taken away the office of the president of Nigeria from BAT even when it is obvious to the blind that he “snatched and grabbed” it? How can anybody now suggest that Mmesoma’s reward for snatching and grabbing common UTME score should be recovered from her. Answer me. Is it fair?

For cleverly retouching her JAMB score, INEC should give her a scholarship and employ her once she graduates. That singular and audacious exploit shows that tomorrow she can sit on the same chair our qouta-professor INEC Chairman is occupying today. As a young Nigerian, she has demonstrated the character capacity and competence to serve in very sensitive and independent institutions like INEC.

For changing her scores and making that video where she chanted her innocence in a very charming voice, she must be persuaded to join the Youth Wing of APC and become their principal spokesperson. To upgrade from Ordinary Level (OL) to Advanced Level (AL), the star girl should enroll for a three months intensive lectures which must be facilitated by tested and proven APC orators like Festus and Lai. After all, elders are role models to the young and these are Nigeria’s most objective and honest political office holders.

Read also: ‘Bulkachuwamization’ of our judiciary and Nigeria’s culture of corruption

For what Mmesoma did, all of us need to go to Chukwuemeka Ike’s grave and tell him that our children are no longer coming, they have come. We will not also forget to tell him that the framework she adopted is the same one that has effectively served our irrepressibly and irredeemably corrupt political leaders for so long. Let us not forget the Igbo adage that says that a child sent to robbery by his father uses his feet to break the door.

We should tell Chukwuemeka Ike to tell his fellow ancestors that what we ordered as a country, by our active participation in, and endorsement, of fraud and forgery, has been delivered, and it landed at our door steps in good shape. These are my humble and simple suggestions. If you don’t agree with me, you know what to do. If you don’t I will tell you… Go to court!

The above 6 paragraphs are Ada Muo’s ‘revolutionary’ views of the matter and she has dared any person with contrary spirit to go to COURT. In a place where ‘they’ ‘turn justice into wormwood and throw uprightness to the ground’ instead of letting ‘justice flow like waters and uprightness like a never-ending stream’(Amos,5: 7&24), is it really just and proper to upbraid Mmesoma? After all ‘the society prepares the crime and the criminal commits it!( Henry T Buckle) and ‘whenever crime is not punished speedily, people feel it is safe to do wrong’( Ecclesiastes, 8:11) I ‘case my rest’!