Dad left us because he was angry with Mom for “giving him” five girls. One day he left the house and never returned.
Feeding six mouths with her meager income was no small feat for Momsy. She would often go without food because “she was fasting” and there were times I heard her crying all night when she thought everyone was asleep.
Life was tough but we never lacked the basics but Tata was rebellious, she wanted more. She dropped out of senior secondary to live the kind of lifestyle she always wanted. Mom pleaded with her, counseled her and even punished her sometime but Tata was beyond redemption.
I don’t know what Tata did for a living but she obviously earned a lot of money. She tried to help out at home but Momsy would never take anything from her. Tata always talked about proving to our father that we could survive without him and she would do it no matter the cost.
By the time she was 20, Tata left home to start a new life in the UK. I must say, she was a good big sis. She encouraged us to do the right thing always. She promised to do anything for us as long as we stayed in school, stayed out of trouble and didn’t give Momsy any problem.
We had bank accounts (thanks to Tata) and she made sure that we always had enough money. So I thought to myself that if a secondary school drop out like her could make more money than Momsy who had two degrees, then there was no basis for an education. At this point I began to cut classes. This education thing wasn’t going to work for me.
Everyone thought I was in school but I had made the club my second home. I became exposed to drugs and sex and my life took a downward spiral. A voice in my head warned that I had no excuse living this kind of life but I was past caring. My next plan of action was to leave the country and it was during a routine health check for my proposed trip that I discovered that I was HIV positive with chances for an opportunistic cancer to grow. This was a death sentence.
Tata lived life on the fast lane and she’s never come down with as little as a flu. I’ve done this for less than a year and now I have a life threatening disease? What have I done to myself? No wonder Tata always emphasized that some people could get away with certain things while others might not be as lucky. I have ruined my life. I am doomed.
Can someone please tell me what to do because I’m so confused and miserable.