Have you called your parents today?

Dear reader, have you found a moment to reach out to your parents today, especially if you’re living apart? When was the last time you conversed with them over the phone or in person? Please take a moment to reflect on the significance of these interactions in nurturing your bond with them.

During her group sessions, geriatric care consultant Damilola Grillo often starts by asking about their communication with their parents. The responses she receives range from nervous laughter to heartfelt admissions of guilt for not staying in touch for months.

During a recent retreat at a nature resort, she posed the question to the young 20- —to 30-year-olds who constitute the bulk of the Abuja-based Clean Technology Hub staff. It was an entrée to interrogate issues such as retirement planning and old age care, even as they seem far-fetched or a long road ahead.

Grillo shares some discomforting news. “Our parents are starting to live lonely lives, and some children are beginning to neglect them.”

This differs from our communal culture, wherein we had extended family to look out for the old. “This is beginning to dwindle with the migration of people seeking greener pastures, necessitating checks on our parents.”

Grillo counsels, “Please call your parents and reassure them of your love for them as their children.”

As a seasoned geriatric care nurse, Damola Grillo has witnessed the increasing demand for elderly care, which profoundly concerns her. More and more, people abandon their greying parents in villages and towns without meaning to do so. It just happens but poses challenges and discomfort to the older party.

Her hopes and dreams? Grillo stated, “My dream in Geriatric care is for people generally not to view old age as a death sentence or a bleak future. Compared to the years lived before old age, the later years should be spent on enjoyment; it should be a time for relaxation and reinvention. I dream of seeing older African adults stop toiling and have time to reap the harvest of what they have sown in adulthood. To have reasonable welfare/security provisions from the government for vulnerable older adults.”

Oluwadamilola Grillo is a gerontologist who helps solve old-age challenges through her social enterprise, Hold the Age. The organisation is a one-stop solution centre for older adults, reaching out to them through caregiving, tackling elder abuse, providing dementia therapy, retirement solutions, and improving social care, amongst other interventions.

She has a B.Sc. in sociology from the University of Lagos and a Masters in Gerontology and Ageing Studies from Swansea University, Wales.

Damilola has worked in varying capacities with different organisations. She is known as “DeeGee the Gerontologist” to her various audiences on social media platforms. Having accessed over 2000 older adults in their homes and provided domiciliary care solutions and other interventions with her team members at Hold the Age, Damilola will bring her wealth of experience to the Geriatric Social Care Sector Skills Council.

Damilola is currently the co-chair of the NSCC, Lagos State, the state coordinator of the Coalition of Societies for the Rights of Older Persons in Nigeria (COSROPIN), Lagos State, an alumna of the University of Tasmania, Australia, the Young African Leaders Initiative (YALI), the West Africa Emerging Leaders Programme, a Chevening Scholar, and a member of the British Society of Gerontology.

She is presently training at Shippensburg University for her international social work certification.

She expounds on the subject further. “While growing up, we always had a grandparent who lived with us either from the paternal or maternal side; I saw my parents devote their time to their parent’s needs. However, my orientation came from studying Sociology as an undergraduate and taking elective courses in Gerontology and Medical Sociology. I researched gerontology and wrote my final year thesis on retirement; this was an eye-opener, seeing how academics (professors) have no plans after retirement.”

In “Psychosocial health challenges of the elderly in Nigeria”, Victor J Animasahun of Olabisi Onabanjo University and Helena J Chapman of the University of Florida observed that “Geriatric medical services are not prioritised in the Nigerian health system. This has been observed due to lengthy waiting times for healthcare appointments, a low provider-patient ratio, and poor communication among elders and their healthcare providers, which may lead to unwillingness to utilise health services.”

Experts identify seven physical needs of old folks, including nutrition, medication management, regular exercise, sleep and rest, pain management, personal hygiene, and regular health check-ups.

“Geriatric care is a recent development in Nigeria”, Grillo observed. “Care for older adults in Nigeria is beginning to gain more spotlight due to various agencies that have come together to fight for the rights of older adults. Some public hospitals are setting up geriatric departments in the healthcare terrain, and some private hospitals are now catching up to have similar departments dedicated to older adults. “

Who is old? Grillo states, “An older person is defined chronologically as someone aged 65 years and above; in some societies, it is 60 years and above. Some societies use the retirement age to determine age, which is derogatory.

“Old age can further be categorised as young old (60-69 years), mid-old (70-79 years), and old (80 years and above). There are other groupings, too, but I prefer this categorisation owing to the life expectancy in Nigeria.”

Despite seeming similarity, ageing is not a one-size-fits-all matter. Factors considered in elderly care include cultural background, religion, health, and social care.

“Respecting an older person is a form of care for some of them. The kind of care given to an older adult living with different ailments will not be the same as an older person who is lonely and healthy. However, their rights shouldn’t be denied when caring for older adults. We should frown upon any abuse and treat them with dignity and respect.”