ONE of the frequent lies you will hear this season is that there are people who understand Nigeria. You will hear that line often during the hustling. Elections are by the corner.
Some consider it a bragging right that extends their entitlement to more portions of Nigeria for their sole use. They cannot wait to dive into the opportunities Nigeria offers and disappear with them.
Nigeria is too dynamic – not to be confused with progressing – that there is nothing to understanding Nigeria. If you claim you understand Nigeria, you will be a good listing in the company of some of those who have done great damage to Nigeria. They will later tell us that the reason for their gross failure is the circle of concentric complexity called Nigeria.
The truth is that nobody understands Nigeria. Those who tried have given up. Others who still venture are described in uncomplimentary words. We are on a sweeping descent to no destination.
Nigeria is too fractured, fragmented, fractionalised, and functionless that it is a wonder that we live in it. Or Nigeria lives in us?
Do those who understand Nigeria understand these?
Flogging Children to death
We may soon hold nationwide competitions to choose which teachers, so called, are the best floggers. Without rules on how they should beat children and no prizes for those who flog to death, we may be wasting national talent. Someone must understand this.
Da Jagaban
Followers who need training on abuses have turned on the Jagaban, Asiwaju Bola Ahmed Tinubu for practice, the testing ground. The man once described as sagacious, mentor, leader, is at the receiving end of a brand of loyalty he least expected. They say he would understand it.
So much food, that prices are up
Do you understand that under this government Nigeria has produced so much food that we even export food? If you understand this, you would not need to ask why the prices of foodstuffs are so high.
No lessons from Abba Kyari
What lessons are there to learn from the rise and rise of Deputy Commissioner of Police Abba Kyari? Nothing. Kyari, according to a newspaper report is blaming the Indigenous Indigenous Peoples of Biafra, IPOB, for his woes. He understands Nigeria.
Read also: Arrested Abba Kyari, 4 others to face full weight of the law- NDLEA
What’ll Nnamdi Kanu wear?
Of all things, what appeared to have taken the most time in court was what Nnamdi Kanu, leader of IPOB, should wear for his court appearances. There is apparent agreement that he won’t appear naked but wrangling over what he should wear persisted.
His preferred attire is Isi Agu, the traditional wear of choice in most Igbo areas. The court ruled that he can’t wear it. Do you understand that the ruling is specific to Nnamdi Kanu not to any other Nnamdi or Kanu? So, we are still free to win Isi Agu? We need to understand it.
Fuel scarcity
This one is simple. We produce the crude, we cannot refine it. Those who know Nigeria weigh into importing an important product that is a life wire of a nation. To help you understand there is nothing new in the matter, a 1977 Daily Times copy is making rounds of the social media quoting Muhammadu Buhari, a Colonel, Commissioner for Petroleum, that the scarcity “may end next week”. The same Buhari, retired Major-General, President, Minister of Petroleum, 45 years on, is promising, “the scarcity will end next week”. We should congratulate anyone who understands this side of Nigeria.
Finally…
More congratulations to all Nigerians who are successfully navigating their lives through scarcities of food, water, electricity, fuel, and security. You are the ones who understand Nigeria.
.Isiguzo is a major commentator on minor issues
