Your self-worth Is not determined by….

Loving yourself may sound simple, but it can be so hard! You allow so many external factors into your spirit affecting the image you have of yourself. These external factors have nothing to do with your worth. Your self-worth is inherent and independent of anything external. You possess innate value and worth simply by being human and is an intrinsic and ‘unchangeable’ aspect of your being. You are deserving of respect, love, and acceptance by virtue of your existence. You must get to know this with every fiber of your being! Then you will know that the things below do not determine your self-worth:

Achievement and success bring you a sense of satisfaction and pride but it should not solely define your self-worth. You must recognize that success is often influenced by various factors, including luck, opportunities, and who you know all changing over time. Your self-worth should not fluctuate based on these external factors.

“You are not a mistake. You are not a problem to be solved.

But you won’t discover this until you are willing

 to stop banging your head against the wall of

shaming and caging and fearing yourself.” Geneen Roth

Childhood trauma was not within your control and you are not responsible for other people’s choices. Your childhood may shape a lot of things about you, but it does not determine your worth.

Your level of education is the result of so many factors one of which is your family dynamics. You are not less intelligent or more worthless than those who do. My client cried profusely because she felt so embarrassed that she did not have a degree, all her friends had one, and assumed she did as well. She defined herself by this and was scared to death they would find out and she would no longer be loved or accepted.

Read also: Former Anambra senator, Annie Okonkwo, dies at 63

How others’ view and treat you and how you view others’ achievements can leave you feeling inadequate or superior. Both impact your sense of self-worth. Others’ opinions of you are limited, sometimes biased, can change, and you cannot control what other people think nor how they are. You make so many assumptions when you compare yourself to others. You have no idea what their life behind closed doors is. You have unique strengths, weaknesses, and life circumstances. Recognize and appreciate your own individuality to develop a healthy sense of self-worth. No one should know you better than you know yourself!

Your physical appearance and attributes have been given too much significance in society. Physical attributes are superficial and can change over time. This focus disregards the importance of your inner qualities, personal growth, and character development.

Your relationship status is a pressure ball in society especially for women. This pressure has you chasing someone out of desperation, loneliness from being single, or staying in toxic relationships. Be invested in finding real friends and partners beyond online that understand and care about you. It is the quality of your friends that really matter. Pressure exists on social media to have a picture perfect, aesthetically pleasing life. Your worth is not measured by how many people like or dislike your posts. You are valid and worthy regardless of your social media status and they are not all your friends.

Age is nothing but a number as they say. However, both old and young people are often judged due to their age. It is not a reflection of who you are or will be.

Your decision to have children or not has societal pressures especially for women to have a male child which is completely outside of your control. Having children is completely your decision. You are more than any single aspect.

Your self-worth or self-esteem is YOUR subjective evaluation of your own value and worth as a human being. Since it is your evaluation or acceptance of someone else’s evaluation, you have complete control over changing any negative perspectives. Choose to see the truth about who you are. No external validation is needed to define your worth. Be intentional and notice if you are too focused on your flaws or mistakes, rejection, failure, abuse, setting unrealistic societal or personal standards for yourself, lack of self-compassion, or self-care. You MUST actively work on and practice self-acceptance maintaining a healthy sense of self-worth.

“Your worth is not determined by what others think of you.

Your worth is determined by what you think of yourself.”

 

Adopting this perspective on your self-worth can lead to a more resilient and stable sense of self, as it is not susceptible to fluctuations based on external circumstances. It promotes an authentic and unconditional self-acceptance, allowing you to focus on your personal growth, inner fulfillment while nurturing healthy relationships with yourself and others.