Why many celebrity marriages fail

Sometime ago, Olu Jacobs, a veteran Nigerian actors, was asked why Joke Silva, his wife, still bears her maiden name, the answer he gave said it all.

“She is her own individual. When I met her, she was an actress known as Joke Silva so why should marrying me now deny her and her audience her name. She is Miss Joke Silva who is Mrs. Joke Jacobs. It is as simple as that. People now begin to say what they like. They have even written that we are separated and all sort of stuff. When she is working, she is Joke Silva but she is Mrs. Joke Jacobs at home.”

The Nollywood veterans, who are celebrities in their own right, have been married since 1989 and have stayed married since then.

The intrigue is that both are actively traveling on the job for movie shootings, raising children and also staying in touch and out of scandals.   As well, Omotola Jalade, another top actress, who married Captain Matthew Ekeinde Ekeinde, a pilot, since 1996, is still married today.

Sadly, most movie stars in Nigeria who are carried away by the ‘celebrity thing’ hardly learn the secrets of staying together and out of scandal from the likes of Olu, Joke and Omotola.

The Nigerian celebrity circle was stunned in 2011 when Kate Henshaw, one of its own who was held in high esteem, abandoned the ‘married’ status in a mutual separation with Roderick James Nuttal, her husband.

The disappointment for supporters of ‘sane society’ was that after 12 years in marriage, Kate was beginning to be a reference point for respected married celebrities, suddenly she failed, giving the lily-livered would-be celebrity couples reason to think twice.

But like the biblical saying that it is easier for the camel to pass through the eye of the needle, than for a rich man to get to heaven, does it mean that it is also very difficult for celebrities to stay in marriage.

While gossipers’ ears itch for the news of another celebrity whose marriage has crashed, the reality is that celebrities are humans as well, and there are many divorces that do not make news because the separated couples are not celebrities.

Considering the fact that there are always the watching eyes of the public, why do celebrities allow their marriages to crash?

One of the reasons is the very busy schedule of most celebrities, which does not allow enough time for family bonding.

Most celebrities travel a lot; hence spend most of their time away from home.  Jennifer Ojodu, a model, says that time is better managed when a female celebrity married a man who is not in the public view as man can travel with his wife sometime or take charge of the home front.

For her, the trouble is when both are celebrities with busy schedule; as one goes for a concert in New York, the other travels to London for movie shooting. “The most lasting relationships in celebrity marriage are those where the both are not celebrities and understand the job demands of each other”, she says.

As well, money is said to be the root of all evil and even in marriage. It is worse for celebrities because they need steady supply of huge money to stay public. But when there is no money, some celebrities can go to any length even infidelity to stay in glamorous.

According to Michael Odion, an artiste manager, all celebrities are not wealthy and rich as most fans think; the glamour is often part of the show, which the promoters put up. “When a gold-digger marries a celebrity for his/her money and later discovers that there is no money, the marriage will not last”, he says.

Odion discloses further that pressure from family, friends, fans and even managers often lead celebrities to try out marriage with a one leg.

“Often, we managers and artiste agents think that marriage will raise our client’s profile, especially if they are hoping for a corporate signage or deal. In that case, the managers are only after the deal and not the fate of the marriage after the money has been made”, he says.

These impromptu marriages, according to him, crash months and even days after because the couples hardly know themselves and even if they do, they lack maturity, tolerance and love to mend their differences when situations arise.

Kareem Badeh, a showbiz promoter, says most celebrities are insecure about something, and there is always one gossip about them, and when the media spotlights the rumour, an already shaky marriage seek the divorce option.  “Most divorce cases among celebrities emanate from rumours of infidelity, domestic violence or shady deals. But they spread like wildfire and often out of hand as most celebrities have no time to find out the true situations”.

Badeh thinks the media plays a huge role in the growing cases of divorce among celebrities.

He refers to the media as ‘rumour machine’ that tries to pull gullible traffic. “The media plays a very vital role in celebrity divorce; when they always remind you of who your partner was before you met, and paparazzi are always there to say who your partner had spoken to, had dinner with, hugged, where when and how. Celebrities should learn to turn deaf ear and get blind to what they see or hear on the media in the sense that this had led to many separations in marriages among celebrities today”, he says.

Considering the fact that celebrities are in spotlight always and meeting with the high and mighty in the society, there is tendency to face more temptation than the normal people who may be more beautiful, even richer but not in public domain.

“Imagine when a governor, a sitting senator, or one of the billionaires is asking a celebrity out. Those who are married may resist it at first, but as the pressure mounts alongside its benefits, the celebrity’s defence will be broken. From one date, there would be more that would eventually lead to divorce. There is no way you will date a governor without people knowing it”, he concludes.

Eseoghene Ayomah