Valentine’s Day is still fresh on our minds and while some people were pleased with their Valentine gifts, others were vexed by the gifts they received, as there was a discordance between what was expected and what they received. For some, they communicated clearly what they wanted while others felt their partners should have known them well enough to pick the best gifts for them.
Love means different things to different people depending on their phases in life and how they perceive love. It may also mean different things to the same person as they evolve and their needs change. A group of girlfriends shared their Valentines experiences over brunch.
“I totally loved my gift, which was a weekend staycation at my favourite hotel all my myself. I was able to get away from the stress of work and motherhood to just rest and be pampered. The year started on an intense note, and I really felt loved that my husband noticed how frazzled I was and gave me the best Valentine’s gift ever.” Martha, a mother of 3 children under the age of 4 years gushed.
“I got yet another phone as a Valentine’s Day present. Yes, I know it’s the latest iphone but all my husband buys for me is one phone after the other. He is the gadget lover not me, and I have told him countless times that he should stop buying me phones, but he never seems to remember that. And to make it worse, he’ll be so excited and tell me that he has a surprise for me. How can 7 phones in a row for Valentine’s Day still be surprising to me”, Edidiong rolled her eyes in exasperation.
Read also:The power of love
“Hmm, and all this time I’ve been green with jealousy over how frequently you change your phones meanwhile you don’t even like them, Victoria said to her, almost choking with laughter. “Honestly, this life no balance. As for me, I decided to be the giver this Valentine instead of continually receiving without reciprocating. I know that my husband would give me literally anything I ask for but this year, I decided to give him a treat and he was so happy to be on the receiving end. His joy made my Valentine complete.”
“This was the first year I gave myself a Valentine’s Day present,” Eunice said quietly before bursting into tears. She had broken up over Christmas with her fiancé of 2 years who had literally drained the vivaciousness out of her. “I never knew how little I loved myself, which was why I stayed in that relationship for as long as I did. I always felt that other people were responsible for loving me. Going on this journey of recovery has taught me that I am worthy to receive love from myself and that I should give myself what I expect from others.” The girls surrounded her with hugs and words of encouragement. She knew she’d be alright.
“I remember how excited I was when I got the first phone gift from my husband. Going to NYSC camp that year with a smartphone was such a big deal for me. Honestly what would have made an excellent present for me right now would have been a 30-day Salad and Smoothie plan or a gym subscription. I have been singing about it and dropping hints, but lover boy still bought a phone”. Edidiong was clearly still upset.
“Maybe you should have just asked him directly instead of assuming he’d get all your hints. You know that some people are more perceptive than others and communication does help everyone, especially the people that struggle with understanding hints,” Victoria replied. “It is obvious that your husband is besotted with you so please help him to understand that your needs and the way you want to be loved have also evolved.”
As we see from the conversations above, expressions of love may change as people change. The ideals of love however remain constant. Love is patient, kind, considerate and enduring. When we focus on the ideals of love, we can easily adapt to what love means to our loved ones as we evolve through life.
