• Monday, April 22, 2024
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Raising boys (part 2)

Work, family life, and current economic situation (I)

I have often wondered, what the issue is with the male child. It breaks my heart every time research is carried out and it unfolds something new, something negative about the male child. It was as if there was a secret plot against them. I had these mind-boggling thoughts while observing my brothers quietly, and it hit me like a ton of bricks; I can change the narrative and I will change the narrative.

I interviewed over 50 Male adults, between ages 21-45 years, who had male children, and asked one question every time, “Are you proud of the sons you are raising?” The response is always almost identical; a light pause and thought and “I guess I am” or “Oh, yes” , “Of course I am”. Strangely, this would have probably been the same response, if I had interviewed, their fathers.

Further probe, reveals something, as unique as it is troubling; they are actually proud of what they believe they are doing to raise their sons. The response to the question, revealed it was not about the sons, but an appraisal of their efforts as fathers, raising boys, but they did not have a blueprint. Truth is, when asked tough questions about this, they revealed that they were playing it by ear, one-step or misstep at a time, hoping for the best. This cannot fly.

Fathers should not plan for our children, when they come; they ought to plan for them before they are delivered. We plan for them from the moment of the decision to conceive them.

When a father understands that, one of the roles he plays in his son’s life, is that of “Priest” and just how vital that role is to that son, the difference in his actions will be clear and present.

Fathers!! it is time to take your stand, and act in the capacity God placed you. Your priesthood over the life of your son means that the words you speak over him build him up, and the reflections he sees, creates the pattern of his life.

Read also: Raising boys

When you pray for your sons, you send them out into the world, with a protective shield. Wake up every night and pray over your sons. You have been given the baton of priesthood, so step up to the plate, swing and do your job right.

Raising boys can no longer be, “fly by ear”; it has to be intentional and planned out carefully, to depict what kind of man you foresee in the future.

Be a praying father!!
Be a planning father!!
Be a proud father!!

Now do not get me wrong, I applaud all the wonderful fathers out there who are doing an amazing job to raise a wholesome family, parenting in itself its not as easy as a cherry on a cake.

This is just a call to fathers, uncle’s, grandpa’s and society to please take an intentional and a holistic step towards raising our boys. We can no longer say that is how men are No!! We should provoke the goodness on the inside and establish it in our sons.

I am still pivoting on the back of November 19th International men’s day to write to father and sons. Your sons are watching you and they are connecting to your emotional, physical and spiritual actions or well-being to replicate in the future.

Let’s raise humans and not beasts
Let’s raise compassion and not apathy
Let’s raise love and not lust
Let’s raise kindness and not entitlement

These apply to our daughters as well.

Let us leave a legacy worth emulating.