Have you been in a situation where your partner suddenly goes silent? The calls become seldom, and your conversations drags and leads to more conflict.
Then you keep trying to manage the situation, but it keeps feeling like a war between the both of you. It becomes unbearable when all of a sudden, your partner asks for a break. This can be hard if there were no warning signs or conflict before this occurs. You are left devasted as to the cause and the way forward.
If you have found yourself in this situation, then this article will lighten up your mood:
Respect your partner’s wish without a violent outburst
I know this may be hard to do but it only shows a healthy level of self-esteem. Since it’s coming to you surprisingly, your reaction may not be well controlled, but you can try managing the situation well without being too dramatic. Don’t start getting pushy or promising to do any odd things. Have the end in mind and do nothing you will not be proud of later.
Take your time to analyse and ask questions:
You definitely want to understand why your partner wants a break and how long it will last. You might be lucky to get an answer. Find out what went wrong, and you might be lucky to strike up a conversation from there. If your partner is not willing to share anything, be patient as things may be tensed in that moment.
Have an agreement
Sometimes your partner might not want any form of calls, frequent visits or communication. You should know what is allowed and not allowed and control yourself to abide by it. It’s understandable that sometimes you might break the rules especially because of the love once shared. You might even want to do some romantic surprises to make things change but be careful how it goes in case you are the only one seeing a relationship ongoing. Do your best but if your partner keeps shutting them down, don’t take it too personal for long.
Observe the lessons and experiences
This period of silence is the best time to ask yourself what you learnt or gained in the relationship. You should ask yourself various questions before hoping for a come-back. If you feel you were led into the relationship blindly or out of desperation, maybe it’s time to set things right. There is always something to learn from every experience.
How compatible are you? How much value has this relationship brought to you? Has this relationship been based on lust and selfish needs or for your growth and advancement?
Check for all of these high points before wanting the relationship back or fighting for it.
Read also: 5 Things to never say to your partner in a relationship
Work on your self-esteem
This is going to be a very sensitive and challenging period for you so you need to be careful about the beliefs you are creating for yourself and the self-image you are building on.
This is not the time to play the blame game and feel you are not good enough. It’s never totally your fault. It’s always on both sides so admit that you may have done something wrong or not. Regardless of what you did, never look down on yourself. Don’t hate on love or relationships but wish for the best. When you portray a high level of self-esteem, it will also help your partner respect you from afar. The fact that it didn’t work out like you planned doesn’t mean you are unlucky, it could actually be a blessing in despise. Don’t hate men or women because of your past relationships, it can blind you from appreciating good people when you meet them. God also have a way of teaching us simple truths in our relationships before leading us on to the right place. It can be a moment of discovery for you or a season of character formation.
Get a support system
You might need to talk to a trusted friend(s), family, or counselor to help you feel better and open your eyes to the real facts of the issue. Handling it on your own might be difficult so speak up and feel more relieved. You can reach out to me for counseling if you want to have a session here: [email protected]
Get busy with your life
There is a way you begin to act and live that becomes admirable to your partner from afar. You need to avoid being a worthless human but become valuable and responsible. Work on projects, go on a personal self-discovery journey and explore. Give your mind reasons to appreciate the new person that you are becoming. Read books, attend trainings and learn.
Prepare for the worst
If you discover that after so many months and your partner hasn’t gotten back to you, then you may need to move on. You don’t have to communicate with your partner about it but simply do it either by imagining speaking to your partner and calling it off or writing a letter where you express your mind and bid for the end. The brain doesn’t recognize the difference between imagination or reality.
Reaching out to your partner might be unnecessary since he or she might have moved on. Start your healing journey, focus on getting better and take it as part of your learning process. It simply means there are better people out there for you and you will meet one soon.
I hope this helps you.
