In order not to lose people’s fundamental values, culture, and even children, experts have urged parents and guardians to be intentional in the upbringing of their children and/or wards.
Olajumke Adenowo, Africa’s most influential female architect, and the Forbes Woman Africa Entrepreneur 2020 has called on Nigerian parents to be intentional in the training of their children.
Speaking on the topic; “Purpose-Full Parenting” in her keynote address at Nigeria’s first parent conference an initiative of Greenwood House School, held at the Civic Centre, Victoria Island with the theme: “Navigating the Complexities of Parenthood” said both the mother and father are to be involved in raising a child and that it must be intentional.
“Parenting is a process of training or raising a child from birth to interdependent adulthood. You raise a child to be interdependent.
And we’re all on this journey together, and it must be intentional. You never stop parenting in life,” she said.
Adenowo pointed out that parenting is a demanding task that requires parents to be financially stable.
“A child should not bother about making money and/or where the next meal will come from. And at the same time a child should not dictate to the parents what the next meal should be,” she noted.
Parenting is not only for mothers, the fathers must be involved to exert a sense of authority.\
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Hence, she said that what should precede parenting is choosing the right partner as a couple.
“Ladies when you are choosing a groom, don’t choose a groom for his G-wagon he drives, choose him for the type of father he will be, will he be able to support the family, not just financially, but will be there when he is needed,” she counseled.
According to the principal architect at AD Consulting, “Mothers must be careful of the man they marry because they’re the worst hit when a child doesn’t do well.”
Folasade Adefisayo, former commissioner for education, Lagos State in her address reiterated that parenting is what every animal does, but that human beings are different.
“Human parenting is a life-long journey. It is something you do intentionally. You have to be intentional, it’s a joyous task,” she said.
Ekua Abudu Akinsanya, co-founder and administrator of Greenwood House School, and the convener of the event said that the conference is aligned with the school’s mission which is “to work together with parents to reach the full potential of their wards educationally, and morally, and socially in a more conducive environment.”
“We realised the world is ever-changing and parenting has become more challenging than ever before. Our children, through technology, have unregulated access to a world beyond their fingertips.
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A world where we cannot effectively control what they are exposed to, and where they are fed content and lifestyles incompatible with our family values,” she noted.
Foluso Philips, chair board of governors at Greenwood House School in his speech stated that the greatest parenting challenge is the children.
“The greatest of parenting is the children themselves. They learn more from each other. Children copy each other, and by extension, copy what their peers copy from their own parents.
The challenge is can we discuss with our children?” he said.
He further counseled fathers to take up the responsibility of parenting their children right by leading an exemplary life.
“Fathers are very important in parenting children, they are figureheads in families.
Fathers should learn to spend time with their children and also lead by example. Set up boundaries, rules, and regulations in your homes,” he said.
He urged fathers to teach their children how to solve problems by inculcating a resilient spirit in them which according to him will make them become tough and able to face challenges as they grow.
Florence Karl Ogwu, a panelist at the conference explained that in order to balance the need to instill values in children, and setting boundaries, parents must ensure there are family cultures.
“Values are thousands of decisions upfront. If we have family culture, it will be easy to strike a balance between values and boundaries,” she said.
Another panelist, Ronke Onadeko enjoined parents to go beyond words in parenting.
“Don’t rely on what you tell your children, because they learn more from what they see you do. What you do is more important than what you say,” she noted.
