The English language has become a global asset which is localised, domesticated and nativised in different nations where it serves as a second/official language and, consequentially, a foreign language. Notwithstanding these long years of domesticating the English language in Nigeria, suffice it to say that everyone who boasts an affinity with standard English should be aware that the meanings attributed to an admixture of English words in Nigeria can only be understood by our compatriots.
Amazingly enough, while the verb “dupe” involves defrauding someone and, in effect, making him/her do something against his/her wishes, it is interesting to observe that, as a noun — contrary to the assumption of many Nigerians — a dupe is an individual who has been tricked; not the fraudster. Consequent upon this, I presume that you didn’t give anyone a sucker punch for calling you “an unsuspecting dupe,” the last time you were duped by a trickster. That aside, it is emphatically pertinent to note that a beverage is a drink of any type (aside from water).
Buoyed by this evidence, a beverage doesn’t compulsorily have to be a cocoa-based drink such as Milo or Bournvita. Perhaps, in times past, you have referred to your talkative or garrulous friend as a “lousy” person. If that is the case, you should, henceforth, refrain from qualifying your friend as such because a lousy person amounts to a terrible or awful one. In a similar act of misrepresenting words, innumerable people refer to university lecturers as academicians, in a bid to accord reverence to them. Whereas an academician is a member of an academy, university lecturers are appropriately called “academics.”
To a large extent — and astoundingly so — it has come to my notice that a preponderant percentage of Nigerians often use the verb “chanced” to indicate that they (don’t) have the time to do something. To set the record straight, “chanced” (past tense) could be used in two basic senses. For one, it is synonymous with “risked,” as in, “Peter chanced riding a motorbike without a helmet.” Secondly, it could mean “happened by chance,” as in, “John chanced to know the whereabouts of my daughter, and he informed me promptly.”
Based on this eye-opener, it is grammatically spurious to say/write: “I wasn’t chanced to visit my grandmother last week.” In striking contrast, suffice it to say/write: “I didn’t have spare time/free time to visit my grandmother last week.” Alternatively, you could say: “I didn’t have ‘the chance’ (a noun) to visit my grandmother last week.” What is more, “ramifications” is synonymous with “consequences,” “repercussions” or “implications” — not “dimensions,” “aspects,” “facets,” “spectra” or “spheres.” Hence, you should cease to say, “May God bless Ngozi in all ramifications!”
On these lines, has it ever occurred to you that some Nigerians would want to say something like: “I was ‘opportuned’ to study at Oxford University,” when, in point of fact, they intend to say: “I was ‘privileged’ to study at Oxford University”? Against this background, let the general reader keep in mind that “opportuned” is literally non-existent in English. By extension, “opportune” (an adjective) means “suitable” or “right.” For this reason, “The police arrived on the crime scene at an ‘opportune’ time.” Further to this, it is about time you quitted writing, “The reason for Joanna’s absence is not far-fetched.” This is diametrically opposite to saying, “The reason for Joanna’s absence is not hard/difficult to find” or “The reason for Joanna’s absence is obvious.” For the record, “far-fetched” means “unbelievable” or “improbable,” and it hardly fits into the foregoing context.
Instructively, too, the readership should internalise the fact that the part of a car or any other machine that supports another moving part is designated as a “bearing,” and not “boris.” Similarly, the carburettor of a vehicle could experience “flooding,” and not “overfloating,” as often expressed erroneously by some mechanics and their teeming customers.
Strikingly, as well, the vocabulary of many Nigerians is characterised by redundant repetitions. For instance, the clothes that end above or at exactly knee level are either shorts or knickers (especially worn by females); not “short knickers.” In similar style, those people you work within an organisation are your “colleagues” or “fellows;” not your “fellow colleagues.” Also, it is safe to refer to that handheld lamp, which is usually powered by batteries, as a “torch” or a “flashlight.” “Torchlight,” by comparison, is the light that emanates from the torch.
Last but not least, a number of nouns are made to attract superfluous suffixes, particularly among second language speakers of English. For context, “sponsor,” “gossip” and “assassin” should not be elongated as “sponsorer,” “gossiper” and “assassinator.” Furthermore, “visionaries” should not be incorrectly branded as “visioneers,” just like the death of Jesus Christ is aptly labelled “the Crucifixion” (take note that the “C” is in upper case); not “the Crucification.”
Finally, in the interest of global intelligibility, we cannot hastily admit every instance of misuse as Nigerian English.
