Love is not enough

My name is Chris and mine is a story that must be told. I believe that I will be speaking the minds of so many guys with what I have to say.
Women are always quick to play the victim when something goes wrong in their relationship. But you know what? Guys also experience their own share of heartbreaks, lies and cheating but we hardly rant about them. The narrative must change. We must speak out too. We can’t continue to be the neglected specie. I choose to be the voice of the men. Do I get an Amen?

You know how Lagos sun can be right? If you live in Lagos or you’ve ever been to this city, you will know that the sun in Lagos is different. The heat is on another level.
It started out as a normal Saturday. I was driving home from the supermarket when I saw Lara struggling with her shopping bags and also trying to remove unruly strands that were flying all over her face and into her eyes. She was sweating profusely, it was a really hot day. I can’t tell why she looked so cute at that moment but I decided to stop and help her out. I walked up to her and before I could say anything, she dumped the bags in my hands and wiped the sweat and hair off her face, then she began to tell me about the sun. (Like I couldn’t feel it). Long story short, that was how we became La Chris.

La Chris. The inseparable duo. The envy of all our friends. Lara happens to be a few months older than me but it was never an issue. However, at 28, the most important thing to her was marriage. She seemed a little too desperate about it sometimes and that was probably the only time I had problems with her. Lara just wanted to be married..
I liked her enough to marry her but I had two conditions, she has to wait for two years so that I could be more financially stable and secondly her genotype had to be AA. I was so happy when Lara not only agreed to the first condition that I gave her but she also showed me the result of the blood test which she had carried out to prove to me that she was indeed AA.

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I am the only surviving child of my parents after losing two sisters to sickle cell. I have witnessed first hand the pains of having sick children and then losing them. I vowed never to bring any child into this world to suffer. I shared my concerns with Lara and she couldn’t agree less.
We got married two years later in a quiet ceremony. We were joined by a close friend who happened to be a pastor because Lara did not want to have a lavish ceremony.
We settled down to married life as we began to look forward to the pitty patter of little feet but this did not happen until two years later.
Lara’s pregnancy came with a lot of drama but her doctor friend assured us that it usually happened that way for some first time mothers.

The birth of our daughter was a different ball game entirely. At some point Lara was too weak to push anymore so a C.section had to be carried out on her. As soon as I held my daughter, Morenike in my arms, I knew there was something wrong. ..
It turns out that Lara had lied to me about her blood group. She has been praying and she believed that a miracle would happen when she had her children. She was blinded by her desperation to get married, so she threw common sense in the air and acted stupidly.

She lied to me. She betrayed my trust. And because of her action, the last five years have been nothing but hell for our sickler daughter.
I cannot stand Lara anymore. I resent her so much. She says she had to do what she did because she loves me but I tell her that sometimes love isn’t enough.
She lied about her genotype. She faked the test result. She deliberately refused to have a church wedding because she knew that various tests would be conducted by the church before we could be joined. Her doctor friend also told lies on her behalf during her pregnancy.

Lara is selfish and self-centered. How could she do a thing like this?. She didn’t stop to think about the people that would be hurt by her actions.
Morenike is gone. Yes, My baby has gone to a better place that is free of pains, drugs and regular visits to the hospital.
I have stuck with Lara these five years because of Morenike, but now that she’s gone I don’t think I can continue in this charade called marriage. It’s been nothing but a sham and I am done.
What would you do if you were in my shoes?
Udy Osaro-Edobor
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