Welcome to Lagos, the city that never sleeps. A place where being street smarts is essential, and every day is an adventure. Lagos is loud, fast, and full of life, you will find energy and hustle around every corner, but to survive here, you have to keep your wits about you.
Run from crowd
If you see a crowd, do not walk in there. Do not even look. Crowds in Lagos could mean two thing, either something is being sold, or something is about to get stolen. Pickpockets can be smoother than silk, so if you must pass by, grip your bag tight and keep your valuables in hidden pockets. No matter how much FOMO you have, stay clear of suspicious gatherings.
Carry cash in smaller denominations
Never walk around Lagos with big notes alone. You will need change for everything, and giving a bus conductor a thousand naira note might as well be asking for a fight. So, load up on smaller notes, they are your best friend when you are in these streets.
Danfo 101
Sitting by the window in a danfo with your phone out is like waving a red flag to a bull. There have been occurrences of phones being snatched straight out of people’s hands in traffic. The solution? Keep that phone tucked away until you are off the bus. If you must check your messages, do it discreetly, far away from the window.
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Do not be too “soft”
Lagos does not wait for anyone, so you have got to come with energy. Do not look lost or timid, otherwise, someone somewhere will try to take advantage. If you are in a market, be ready to bargain like your life depends on it.
Drop the “big grammar”
To get by in Lagos, you need a touch of the local language. A little Yoruba or Pidgin English will help you get things done faster. From haggling prices to avoiding scams, knowing just a bit of the local lingo can be your secret weapon.
Master the art of arguing with the conductor
Ah, the Lagos Danfo conductor, part driver’s assistant, part street negotiator. At some point, you will need to argue with one because they love “mistakenly” increasing the fare mid-trip or refusing to give you your change. Be confident, but know how to use your Pidgin or Yoruba here, Standard English won’t cut it. Saying, “Please, sir, I paid my fare” is the quickest way to get ignored. Instead, try “Oga, I don pay o!” or “ Wa, ma mu mi sere” with a mean face and see the magic.
Embrace Lagos as a comedy central
This city? Pure entertainment. Lagosians will turn the smallest drama into a full-blown movie scene, and every bus stop or street corner has its comedians. Whether it is a street fight, a conductor’s rant, or someone selling “original” iPhones for ten naira, you are bound to laugh. It’s all part of the experience, so enjoy the show.
Remember to stay sharp, keep a sense of humour, and as Lagosians say, Eko o’ni baje.
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