The first day your child takes their first step, most of the time they fall and this breaks our hearts, and as parents, we move swiftly to pick them up, that in itself is good, but at that moment, that is a very wrong move. If you observe closely, you will notice that when they take their first step, they are actually walking away from you which tells you they have the ability to do things by themselves.
Our duty is to protect our children, however, we become overprotective and then we do not know when or how to draw the line, and this can have very dangerous consequences for our children. Oftentimes, we protect our children from mistakes, failures and even correction. Mistakes/Errors are a healthy part of life and it sends a false message that it is good to stay in your comfort zone. When we prevent our children from correction, they become resistant to authority and to life, they are unable to take correction and would always seek to be respected and quit when they feel they are being disrespected. This is a result of the unrealistic bubble wrap; we have created around them.
When a child is overly protected, they never come to terms with or understand what causes and effects are, which ought to be a good problem-solving skill. We oftentimes stop our children from their emotional reactions because we are trying to shield them however, this will never allow them see the other side of life. They need to understand that a lot of things do not work in life as we make them believe. If parents always have control over the lives of their children, they tend to believe that their success and decisions are hinged on someone else and this does not make them responsible because they always blame others for their mistakes.
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Problem-solving is a very critical skill every child needs as they grow up. Children need to understand the process of how a lot of things work, and we have to allow the opportunity for them to fail and also understand the process of solving that situation. Some failures are risky and may affect the child however, as a parent, you know when to protect them from that kind of failure.
One major effect of overprotection is raising children with a huge level of low self-esteem, and as they progress into adulthood, they are never able to make independent decisions and are constantly leaning on others for the next step. They are simply afraid to launch out on their own.
Most overprotective children become entitled and are extremely self-centred. They think of themselves first and are never willing to serve others. If our children see that we serve others and share with others, they will benefit a lot from it.
Hardship is real and we cannot protect our children from it, it happens on different levels. We can shield them with our resources because we have, and it makes them incapable of doing anything. We are afraid that they would not do well enough and this makes them very lazy.
Yes, it is hard to see our children fall or fail but they have to be able to show up for themselves and have a self-regulator on the inside else, this can lead to a crisis in leadership.
All these stem from our constant interference in their own process, micro-managing their mistakes every second. The essence of understanding they can make mistakes or fail and still get back up is lost.
