According to Cloke and Goldsmith every society, organisation, group and family creates a culture of conflict, a complex set of words, ideas, values, behaviours, attitudes, customs and rules that powerfully influence how its members think about and respond to conflict. Cultures of conflict are shaped in and by our experiences. They set parameters for what we believe is possible when we are in conflict and define what we can reasonably expect, both of ourselves and of others. Conflict shapes our capacity to think and ask questions, it alters how we see our opponents and ourselves, and tells us what is acceptable and what is not. Every workplace and organisation, school and neighbourhood, family and relationship generate spoken and unspoken rules about what we should and should not say and do when we are in conflict.
How to resolve conflicts as a leader
Identify the source of the conflict: by investigating the root of the conflict, it becomes easy to weed out the issues. Sometimes, conflict stems from mundane things that were overlooked over a period until it became a toxic situation. As a leader, it is very vital that you discover the cause of any conflict on time and pre-empt the possible consequences. Do not let negativity thrive in your organisation because it is very easy for issues to escalate than it is to restore peace after a disagreement.
Tackle the problem not the person: when conflict arises, an important thing to note is that it doesn’t in any way, portray those involved as problematic or malicious. A disagreement between two or more people doesn’t make them the problem of any workplace; it simply means that there is a problem to be addressed before it festers. So, the people involved should not be berated for the ruckus, rather there should be a mindset shift that enables them to see the problem for what it is. This will inspire them to jointly seek a solution rather than trying to turn the workplace into a war zone.
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Promote unrestricted communication: allow your team members to air their grievances and express how they feel. The pent-up resentment as a result of long-term silence needs to be released. It could be a one-on-one interactive session between you and the employee involved or a closed town hall meeting between you and all the parties involved. Voices may be raised and emotions may be all over the place, but one thing is certain: communication will help unburden the weight of the conflict and provide clarity to the cause of the conflict. This will further guide you as a leader to seek the right solution to handle the matter.
Seek solution: once those involved in the conflict have poured their hearts’ contents, and you have identified the root of the dispute, the subsequent step is to proffer a balanced solution to the challenge at hand. This should be done without judgement or bias and assessing the situation with all honesty before arriving at a decision that will settle the disagreements for good.
Find a common ground for both parties: in the process of reconciliation, avoid proffering solutions that will make a party feel cheated and the other celebrating victoriously. It paints a picture of uneven conflict resolution that will stir a ruckus sometime in the future. It is your duty as a leader to find a balanced approach to the conflict at hand so that at the end of the day, the matter becomes amicably solved and both parties have a better understanding of how to avoid similar conflicts in the future.
Things to do as a leader while resolving conflicts
Listen to both parties without bias: everyone wants to be heard, irrespective of what they have to say. This holds true especially during an argument where opinions are contrasting, and everyone thinks they are right. It is your duty as a leader to grant them an audience so you can deduce the cause of the disagreement and how it can be resolved quickly. Listen to your employees’ concerns with objectivity, take note of their complaints and acknowledge it. Even though you may not have the solution at that moment, ensure that they see that you are genuinely interested in making things work out and promoting peace.
Do not pass an instant verdict: take time to reflect on every complaint and grievances that have been expressed. If the issues are weighty and may require convening another meeting within the shortest possible time, then adjourn the current meeting and propose a later date. This will help you as a leader to carefully evaluate the situation and choose the best possible solution to quell the brewing conflict. Do not be pressured to pass an instant verdict during the heat of the moment, you could make biased decisions that could further complicate the situation at hand.
Maintain order while resolving conflict: while resolving conflicts, things can go from subtle to confrontational in a flash. Raised voices and verbal assaults will only do more harm than good. Rather than resolve the conflict, it will further aggravate the parties involved and increase tension which is an indicator that the situation is worsening. The ability to remain calm and maintain order during a heated debate is one of the traits of a competent leader. You wouldn’t want things to spiral out of control while seeking a way out. Therefore, you should master the art of serenity in every situation.
Draw out the lessons: behind every conflict is a timely lesson to be learnt and new adjustments to be made. As a leader, do not be overwhelmed by the enormity of the conflict that you overlook the lessons to be learnt which can be applied in your next attempt at conflict resolution in the workplace. Cementing the bond between your subordinates is important but sensitivity to the practical life lessons to be discovered in every conflict is also important. Do not miss this. Leaders should not be afraid of conflicts or try to shy away from it; with every conflict you resolve, comes a better knowledge of human relation and conflict management.
Conflicts are like storms; you cannot stop them from happening, but you can safely and expertly navigate your organisation out of it, so it won’t sink your organisation. Rather than see it as a threat to the success of your organisation, maximise every conflict phase to iron out issues between your subordinates and foster peace.
It is not the conflict in its entirety that poses a threat to the success of any organisation, it is the leader’s final action and the conflict resolution techniques put in place that will determine if the conflict will cause long term devastating effects or unite the workplace eventually. If we humans remain, there will be disagreement and diverse point of views. How you handle this is another rest of your leadership.
Toye Sobande
Sobande is a Lawyer and Leadership Consultant. He is a Doctoral Candidate at Regent University, Virginia Beach, USA, for a Ph.D. in Strategic Leadership. He can be reached through Email:[email protected]
