You must have heard the words ‘friends with benefits’ and ‘no strings attached’. This probably had some effects in the era pre-dating social media and other media of social communication.
For many of the netizens, friendship comes with benefits, with many strings attached.
However, the strings are usually presented in a subtle way. Other times it presents itself like a gift that keeps giving.
This was in an era where facial and physical communication count for something. And, virtual communication was never an option; not to talk of being the in-thing.
Unfortunately, we now live in a generation that is highly skilled at allowing physical connections to fade away.
From the attention to social media and constant attraction to cell phones, that makes the dating world that much more unamusing.
A generation that thinks people are so easily replaceable and are always on the lookout for the next best thing within their mobile devices.
Welcome to the era of mobile devices otherwise called virtual homestay.
For netizens, it is a common place where everything and anything can happen.
Today, people work remotely and even obtain e-residency otherwise known as digital nomads.
As digital nomads, netizens can visit several places without being physically present.
Ada told BusinessDay that social media gives netizens the opportunity to meet a wide variety of people. According to her, netizens don’t just prefer social media dating; rather it is where they see things their own way.
“Looking around you, you might not see people, but when you go online, you see different people of your taste and then you talk to them and start dating,” she said.
According to her sex is easily on offer and it’s often with no strong connections. “It is and ladies are ever ready to go give the guy sex”.
Speaking further, Ada said that sexting is usually a thing among netizens. According to her, it is the language of the country understood by every netizen.
“You see them engaging in sex chat, which is why you see nudes leaking; especially when they like you and you are their spec, they are willing to give it their best shot,” Ada said.
Another netizen, who identified self simply as Mirangel4u takes a different viewpoint to social media dating.
According to her, social media dating gives you liberty, no disturbance for sex from the other party, and no stress of always cooking for your partner.
However, Mirangel4u said lack of trust is a huge disadvantage for social media dating. According to her, almost everybody is involved in sexting, which in turn takes their privacy away.
“What a lot of people don’t understand is that you cannot replace the energy of someone who is genuine; especially if they are putting in the consistent effort to be in your life on a daily basis,” Dare Philip said.
He said further that with social media sites like Facebook, Instagram, X, formerly known as Twitter, and TikTok, access to online communities and people is easier than ever. According to him, people must learn to cherish these types of people, and appreciate what they have before it becomes “what you had”.
He said further that before social media, people usually meet in person. People rarely meet online; however, all that has changed with the emergence of social media that provided a platform for two strangers to smoothly bridge their distance via the mobile phone.
“People meet up with someone they met online without knowing them beforehand. It is just a common thing people indulge in. This has changed the way of dating because we are not only meeting people that we otherwise would never meet, but we are getting to know them through technology before ever meeting them face-to-face”.
Victory, a mother of four and full-time housewife, disclosed to BusinessDay that she met most of her friends on social media. According to her, she met many of her current phone contacts on 2go and they have migrated to other social media platforms, deepening their relationship.
“Social media allows me to meet people without leaving my house as a wife and mother. I met one particular friend on Christmas Eve in 2014, and we have been friends together. We saw each other for an uncountable amount of time while I was in Lagos with my family.”
She disclosed that they have been able to sustain the relationship since 2017 when she moved to Owerri.
“We met briefly in 2022 when I came to Lagos to visit my husband while he was preparing to retire from the Customs Service. We really can’t see each other like we used to, but with our phones, we have been able to make up for lost time,” she said.
Here are the reasons netizens will go for social media dating:
Relationships that start online are just as successful as those that begin offline.
Social media helps to deepen friendships and are more likely to equate their social media use with positive emotions
Social media makes it easier to unfriend or unfollow people on, hence dating can sometimes come with some level of drama.
Social media makes netizens feel more included and confident rather than excluded on insecure.
Social media helps peers talk to a diverse group of people, support causes (it breaks the age barrier)
Dating sites or apps make it easy to come across other people they are physically attracted to or with similar interests.
People who identify as lesbian, gay or bisexual are likely to use online dating sites or apps.
With many people meeting online, people care less to look for a potential partner in the real world which is where genuine connection is found.
Social media makes sexting very easy with netizens, especially with strangers.
