6 ways to understand your spouse to foster emotional connection

You can assume you know your spouse, but as your marriage progresses, you will discover that new things reveal itself. You have to be intentional about understanding your spouse. You cannot unpack the years your partner has lived in just months or years of your meeting. Even as older couples, you need to continue to observe your partner for new changes and growth.

In all you do, you need to constantly:

Observe
Decode
Discern
Ask
Communicate

1. Study their background, this will help you understand where they learnt some behaviours and mindset.

Observe how they act with other family members and their patterns. Also ask specific questions that points back to family time and rituals.

2. Study their values by watching their priorities. People live out their values unconsciously. Study what your partner spends time doing, thinking about and talking about with you or people. This will help you understand their interests. Values helps create connections when properly explored.

3. Observe what bonds your partner to their friends. This can answer questions like “why are they closer to their friends?” Become your partner’s friend by being that listening ear and support they desire but you can’t be everything to your spouse, just do your part and be present.

4. Study their personality to understand their likes/dislikes, their strengths/weakness and to understand where to complement them. Some conflicts can reduce when you understand the nature of your spouse, but the both of you have a role to play in becoming better and improving yourself for easy connection.

1. Understand their fears: Some people are not always quick to show signs of weakness. Hence, you need to study what makes your partner get frightened and show support where necessary or build their confidence.
2. Understand their vision: When you understand what your partner’s goals are, you will be able to know where to fit in and how to encourage them.

Learnt something? You can always create conversations in these areas.

It starts with showing interest in your partner. The more you share similar interest and have conversations, the more bond you will have.