Singles, when you meet a man or woman who says, “I wish my marriage doesn’t turn out as my parent’s marriage did. I wish to have a perfect marriage.” Those words sound impressive but they could also be sheer desires. You will need to test the seriousness of the statements by doing these :
1. Check for their source
What a man or woman believes in has a huge influence on their worldview. You cannot claim to be a believer and not submit to the Sovereignty of God. People can apply emotional intelligence to their marriages but when life’s challenges set in, how well can they submit to God’s process, waiting season and intercession? If you’re not a believer, move to the next point.
What about their upbringing and experiences? Their foundation matters a lot. How were they brought up? Who is their mentor?
2. Ask for their blueprint. What is the blueprint for this great marriage they desire? What is the actual plan? You cannot afford to fall for a mere wish.
Do they engage in personal or spiritual development resources? Who are they accountable to? What mindset do they operate with? How are they currently acting in the relationship and other relationships? What is your role in this blueprint?
Who are their friends?
3. Check for patterns. What is their current behaviour? From their attitudes, can you recognise consistency, integrity, vulnerability, honesty, arrogance, accountability, and so on? Are they quick to apologise? struggling with an addiction? always busy? too opinionated or fond of taking decisions alone?
Read also: Interview: Get out of unhealthy relationship- Kehinde Bankole
Patterns speak louder. Stop defending bad behaviours based on mere apologies. Whatever negativity you see now tends to expand later.
What do you look out for in a man or woman before starting a relationship with them?
4. Check for values: Values are the principles that guides our lives. Does your partner have important values that keeps a marriage? Like integrity, faith, commitment, family and honesty. Values are manifested through our actions and patterns, so look out for that.
5. Any transformation in their personality? Personalities affect our behaviours and it’s important to become better and not keep saying that your partner should manage your weaknesses. Signs that your partner is working on themselves is in how they pursue knowledge on emotional intelligence, anger management, communication and problem-solving skills. Being moody and difficult should not be an excuse, instead, work on yourself so that your marriage will be better for it.
Now, can you see that there are important aspects of relationships you should pay attention to asides emotions and infatuation? This is also a call to invest in knowledge concerning relationships.
