Show me your friend…

“Friends that are good are the ones that uplift your mood.

They cheer you up when you’re down and they always wipe away your frown.

Friends who are bad always make sure you’re sad.

They like to put you in trouble anything from you, they’ll like to gobble.”

The lines were a poem I learnt when I was in JSS1. It was written by a Nigerian poet whose name I cannot recall now. When I first read it, I could not help but agree with the writer’s thoughts.

As young people, I believe secondary school students must be careful with the kind of friends they keep myself inclusive. We must learn to nip the bad ones in the bud. My math teacher in JSS3 once told me that in this life there are four main types of friends — the plus, minus, division and multiplication. She explained that the plus type of friends add more impact to one’s life. They help to bring out the good qualities in you, which you never even imagined you have. According to her, if you’re a good friend you should give your friend the right advice when you notice she is straying.

I can recall my first experience when I was in JSS1. I was very close to the first friend I had when I entered secondary. We were very close because we both liked each other. We had a name for we call each other Closest Friends Ever (CFE).

However, we started drifting apart when she started to gossip about me. There was a time I overhead her talking to someone that she’s not my CFE because I was a day student while she was a boarder. I have helped her in the past, though. Whenever she had an assignment or something, I would help her to look it up on the internet. Our friendship later got worse when she started hanging out with friends who watch porn. I once advised her to stop her behaviour but didn’t take to my advice. I had to cut off our friendship.  I had to take that decision because if she gets into trouble I would regarded as a part of the people she associated with. There’s that adage that says ‘show me your friend and I’ll tell you who you are.’ If I have a bad friend, if I am not a bad person, people will think I am also a bad.

Going back to my teacher’s advice, she said the second type of friends is the minus type. These are friends who do not want to help you at all. All they do is to influence you wrongly. They deduct a lot of things from you. They suck you dry entirely until you have nothing to offer. They try to change your entire personality just because you hanging out with them they want you to be like them.

She further explained that the third type of friends is the division friends. According to her, they are the worst type of friends to have as you torn between two worlds. They make you get confused. For instance, in your presence they are like your friends, sharing a laugh with you. However, they will be there for you only when things are rosy but when you’re in trouble you never see them. They even add to your problem and worsen the situation. They say bad things about you when you are not there and are envious of you. They are always seeking for your downfall. To put in another way, they are called the bad bele type.

Finally, the multiplication friends are the best type of friends. Even if you have more than enough, they will still want to impact your life more. They are always a blessing and if you are close to them, you will continue to have more and more good things.

From my teacher’s advice, I have learnt that we are humans; we can’t do without friends whether you are in high school, university or you are working in an office. You still need pals but when choosing friends you need to be careful who you choose as your friend before a bad friend drags you into the mud.

IKEOLUWAPO OLUBANJO