Since the advent of time, leadership has been perceived as a position of absolute power, authority, and control. Much demand is placed on a leader to prove his competence by displaying unrivaled strength in his capacity. Hence, being vulnerable has always been considered a form of weakness that must not be found in any leader because it makes them look soft which is not a valid expectation.
These terrifying expectations ascribed to leadership require perfection and this makes leaders see themselves as people incapable of making mistakes, so they are always overworking themselves to create the perfect reputation that is expected of them at the expense of their emotional wellbeing.
As opposed to the long-standing notion that vulnerability indicates incompetence and weakness, instead, it is a symbol of emotional well-being, revealing the human side of leadership in contrast to the mechanical and robotic façade that leadership perfectionism demands.
Vulnerability is not a trait of cowardice or fear; neither does it portrays a leader as a scared mouse cowering behind the curtains for fear of its life, it is admitting that you are predisposed to weakness, and that, requires a high degree of courage that every leader should aspire to have. According to Sime (2019) courage, vulnerability and leadership go hand in hand.
When leaders are not afraid to show their human side, it elicits trust and free flow of communication across the stages of hierarchy. It creates a deeper level of human interaction and increased performance. Such leaders are perceived as being “real” and truthful and this inspires the followers to show solidarity and honesty in their dealings with the leader. Because the followers are not afraid of backlash from their leaders when they make mistakes, they find it very easy to speak the truth to their leaders at all times no matter how uncomfortable it may be.
Engagement and trust are two key variables that most leaders desire to experience with their colleagues, but this cannot come to play when such leaders relate with their staff with an air of intimidating superiority. Trust cannot be built when leaders see themselves as mountains that cannot be accessed. When leaders build walls of strictness around them and dissociate themselves from having a healthy work relationship with their colleagues, they are treated as dictators and left to deal with their weaknesses alone. Or sometimes leaders are viewed and seen as being perfect and without flaws like the rest of the followers.
Admitting your mistakes as a leader is a step towards emotional authenticity rather than the dictatorship approach towards how you relate with your subordinates or followers. A leadership position is not a rivalry position between the leader and followers, but an opportunity for creative synergy and effective human relationship.
It is, therefore, safe to say that vulnerability cements the emotional connection between leaders and their followers. There is less stiffness in the workplace because the human bond between the leader and the followers is strengthened by vulnerability. Followers find it easy to engage their leaders in deep-rooted conversations because their leader isn’t just a leader, but also a friend that is willing to share their fears and concerns without fear or judgement.
As Andryakov (2018) puts it talking about leaders, “We show them that we have failed as well and that it’s just part of the process. In turn, it will allow them to take initiative and make decisions easier.”
Why do most leaders detest vulnerability?
To appear competent: in some parts of the world, showing emotions, most times, is considered an act of weakness and this elicits noticeable isolation in most leaders who want to keep a considerable distance from their followers to avoid being over-friendly.
Competency is not doused by vulnerability. These are two independent variables that do not interfere with each other. While the latter is emotionally driven, the former is a function of intellectual capacity.
As Wei, et. al. note, “In societies with high power distance, the superior more often makes decisions without the subordinates’ participation. Both managers and subordinates consider each other to be existentially unequal.”
It is in this type of environment, that leaders can so easily position themselves as infallible humans and perfect to the core. Vulnerability does not in any way trump your competence as a leader; rather, it complements your strengths and makes room for emotional balance.
You don’t need to keep up a facade of aloofness and strictness so that you can prove that you are a competent leader, it will only severe the human connection you desire to have with those you lead.
To enforce respect: contrary to the notion that strictness enforces respect and order, this is sadly not so. Being overly strict as a leader sets you off as a rigid individual who is not open to change and flexibility. Acts of undue strictness from a leader will only incur fear and resentment from people who work with you. Often leaders who fall into this category are considered autocratic leaders who are bent in their ways. They do not consider that opinions of others as important and position themselves as figures of enforced authority.
Such leaders will be entertained with a façade of orderliness displayed by their followers but there is no assurance that such show of uniformity will continue in their absence. Respect is not forced by strict rules or rigid structures, it is earned by openness and impactful leadership that is worthy of emulation.
Fear of being taken for granted: the phrase ‘overfamiliarity breeds contempt’ makes it hard for some leaders to be open in their dealings with their subordinates. There is a lingering fear that boundaries will be crossed, and disrespect will set in, which is in most cases, a rare occurrence. This fear should not be taken to heart because it will cause a strained relationship between leaders and followers. One of the good qualities of a leader is balance. This is the ability to know when to set boundaries, when to be firm and when to apply understanding. If your leadership method is only tilted towards enforcing fear and respect on your staff, you can never earn their trust and loyalty. Friendly conversations and team bonding that should help make the workplace lively will become a far-fetched reality, thereby affecting the overall productivity of employees.
TOYE SOBANDE
Sobande is a Lawyer and Leadership Consultant. He is a Doctoral Candidate at Regent University, Virginia Beach, USA, for a Ph.D. in Strategic Leadership. He can be reach through Email: [email protected]
