Picture a finely tuned orchestra, each member in sync, playing to perfection, until one musician, talented yet harbouring growing resentment, begins to disrupt the harmony, introducing a discordant note that threatens to unsettle the entire ensemble. This resentment grows into a “chip on the shoulder” attitude that affects their behaviour toward others, including executives. Managing an individual with this attitude is challenging and can affect team morale and productivity. So, what can a leader do when their direct report’s resentment morphs into a thorny demeanour?
This article delves into practical strategies to address the situation, restore harmony, and maintain a productive work environment.
“As leaders, we must acknowledge that this perception is real for the PM, even if his pay aligns with market rates.”
Leaders often encounter high-performing employees who have grievances that translate into problematic behaviours. This “chip” usually stems from perceived unfairness, such as feeling undervalued or underpaid, or from friction with colleagues. For example, one project manager (PM) feels triggered when assisting higher-paid executives. This attitude, though rooted in genuine feelings of injustice, manifests in unprofessional behaviour, potentially undermining the leader’s efforts to maintain a positive and collaborative work culture.
Understanding why an employee feels the way they do is vital. For the PM, perceived lack of recognition, underpayment, and feelings of undervaluation fuel resentment, especially when he’s interacting with executives who, in his view, enjoy greater compensation. As leaders, we must acknowledge that this perception is real for the PM, even if his pay aligns with market rates.
However, validating an employee’s feelings does not mean condoning their actions. Leaders must balance empathy with accountability, clarifying that while frustrations are understood, inappropriate behaviour is not acceptable. This empathy-based approach fosters trust and sets the stage for honest, constructive conversations.
How do you engage a resentful employee?
Go straight to the core of the issue with an open conversation. Ask if he genuinely wants to continue in the role despite the frustrations he’s expressed. If he says yes, make it clear that his attitude needs to align with job requirements, which include treating every employee, executive or not, with respect. Setting these boundaries firmly but empathetically can open doors for him to evaluate his approach.
Sometimes, re-evaluating roles can ease points of tension. If he excels in technical expertise but struggles with interpersonal interactions, consider ways to modify his responsibilities. For example, assign customer-facing duties to a team member with a natural aptitude for client interactions. The role reshuffle approach requires thoughtful planning, but it can optimise team strengths and help prevent further escalation of resentment-driven issues.
After setting clear expectations, consider suggesting coaching or counselling. Resentment often stems from personal and professional triggers that can be addressed with targeted strategies, such as conflict resolution training or emotional intelligence workshops. Encourage him to focus on self-reflection and development, which can foster a greater sense of control over his professional reactions.
Read also: The menace of confirmation bias and passerby’s knowledge for leaders.
How do you implement solutions that foster change and growth?
Dealing with resentment in your team requires patience and persistence. Consider these tools as part of your toolkit for managing and helping employees like the PM overcome their grievances constructively:
Regular feedback is a powerful tool. Schedule periodic check-ins to discuss performance openly, providing both praise for their technical strengths and clear feedback on areas needing improvement. These conversations create opportunities for him to reflect and adjust his attitude with a safety net of support from his leader.
To foster long-term change, encourage him to take ownership of his actions and their impact on others. By shifting the focus to self-reflection, he can better understand how his attitude affects the team and how he can change his mindset to better align with team values. This accountability is vital for lasting behaviour change, empowering him to manage his responses proactively.
A strong organisational culture promotes respect and professionalism across all levels. As a leader, emphasise that every interaction is an opportunity to demonstrate the organisation’s core values. Make it clear that negative behaviours, however understandable, cannot be tolerated if they disrupt the team’s harmony and the organisation’s goals.
Resilience within a team is key to managing and mitigating issues like resentment. Organise team-building activities and cultivate an environment where open communication is encouraged. This positive atmosphere can counterbalance resentment, enabling him to feel valued and supported, potentially reducing the root causes of his frustration.
Despite your best efforts, he may not adjust his attitude. In such cases, be prepared for the possibility of a difficult decision regarding his employment. As much as you may want to retain him for his technical skills, the overall health and productivity of the team must come first. Set a final boundary, making it clear that another outburst or incident would necessitate his departure from the team. This firm but fair approach prioritises the team’s cohesion and accountability.
How do you maintain a balanced perspective?
Leading a team is rarely straightforward, especially when dealing with resentment-based issues. The goal for any leader is to create a supportive, constructive environment that empowers employees to overcome personal grievances and stay committed to the organisation’s objectives. Recognise that, ultimately, your team member’s success or failure in adapting his attitude is his choice. You can provide support, guidance, and resources, but he must be willing to make the necessary changes.
A leader’s role is to nurture talent, correct missteps, and make tough decisions when necessary. Addressing resentment within your team with a structured, empathetic approach can help mitigate negative attitudes and foster a culture where all team members feel valued, respected, and encouraged to grow.
As leaders, we shape the work environment and leave a lasting impact on those we guide. By addressing challenges like the PM’s resentment proactively, you reinforce a legacy of patience, fairness, and accountability.
This commitment to leadership excellence sets an example not only for him but for your entire team. When employees witness leaders handling complex situations with integrity and compassion, it strengthens their trust in leadership and empowers them to navigate their own challenges with professionalism and resilience.
Dr Toye Sobande is a strategic leadership expert, lawyer, public speaker, and trainer. He is the CEO of Stephens Leadership Consultancy LLC, a strategy and management consulting firm offering creative insight and solutions to businesses and leaders. Email: [email protected].
Join BusinessDay whatsapp Channel, to stay up to date
Open In Whatsapp
