In last week’s article, I discussed the fundamental dynamics, myth, theories, and the defining characteristics of the Narcissistic personality. Since then, I have been overwhelmed by readers from that article, wanting to know more about how the narcissist works in leadership.
Some have argued that there are healthy forms of narcissism and that we all need a healthy dose of narcissism, as we would not have a healthy sense of self. The challenge with this line of thought is that we are in a mass cultural shift of self-obsession, incessant consumerism, excessive abuse of relationships, and pursuit of power. Hence, the malevolent narcissists do not have a healthy sense of self; they are not in touch with their true self. Instead, they become a chameleon type of personality who seeks to extend an admired picture to other people and afterwards entice and control all others with some worth or utility until their worth is depleted. At that point, they are dumped and relinquished without regret by the narcissist. Unfortunately, our society rewards such individuals, and we currently praise narcissism in our leaders in different turfs. Narcissists are often rewarded in their undertakings and strivings to get to the top, and then, we often find them in leadership positions.
To understand the Narcissistic world view, writers such as Ransky and Tucker believe narcissists need other people with codependency to sustain them and feed their egos. Also, it will be important to understand how they view and select their victims. Ransky and Tucker identified 3 categories of affected people that are in the narcissist’s world.
A potential: Narcissists view everyone only in terms of what value or use does that person have for them. A potential is someone who the narcissist attracts into their world and are assessed for their utility value and exploitation. People with a strong sense of self-worth and boundaries are of limited use to the narcissist and maybe only relegated to a role of an employee, colleague, customer, peer, a delegation point, or some ambivalent relationship.
A follower: A follower has been prepped, enticed, or controlled into the narcissist’s existence and will be steady yet not slavish to the narcissist. Narcissists are working on these people because they cannot trust the independence and free will of another in their concern for them. However, this level is in an enmeshed or misdirected state as an individual is as yet a different working character. The person still has a distinct operative identity, but by overturning held beliefs, values, attitudes, and sympathies, which are important to the narcissist, the narcissist has already gained leverage. They have been able to earn a degree of trust and acceptance, and a degree of rapport has been established. The narcissist from their side will already have identified this person’s strengths and weaknesses and have commenced the person’s seduction more in-depth into the narcissist’s reality.
“Sidekicks” or blindly loyal pawns: This most intimately trusted group is engaged with the narcissist co-dependently. In areas of concern to the narcissist, they are overly loyal, compliant, passive, and unaware they no longer operate from conscious free will. They put up with whatever treatment is being perpetrated and will collusively abuse the narcissist by acts of proven “loyalty.” They are controlled by the narcissist under some form of emotional and/or mind control. When summoned, they act for the narcissist. They are often used in organizational politics, rumour, and misinformation campaigns and in both groups and organizations to perform acts on behalf of the narcissist that might see them coming under legal or ethical sanctions. The narcissist will establish a degree of separation from the “sidekick” such that the narcissist will disown them to their own destiny if they are ever caught. The person typically has low self-esteem, has a history of placing himself second to others’ needs, a “caretaker” personality, or feels only loved, understood, supported, or important when in the narcissistic company.
Paul Babiak, the author of Snakes in Suits, explained that organizational narcissists use a 3-phase game plan when engaging with the victims. The first phase is to select your victim or prey based on evaluating the utility value of the potential victim and finding their psychological strengths and weaknesses. The second stage involves manipulating the potential victims through carefully crafted messages and using the potential victim’s constant feedback to build and maintain relationships and control. Phase 3 occurs when the narcissist ends up “devouring” the victim and exhausts its value of use. Without remorse, the victim is drained and abandoned as the predatory narcissist looks afield for new victims, which in their reality is equating to more power.
Another attractive honey pot for narcissists is the movements or groups within society in religion, spirituality, human potential development, and self-help groups. This area attracts narcissists because starting a religion, a movement, a modality, an institute, and becoming the leader is easier. This confirms their grandiose delusion that they should be the rightful leader. They have mastery of life’s subjects, heavenly vision, unique insights, or mysterious encounter or power and should be revered for their special gifts and importance.
Sobande is a Lawyer and Leadership Consultant. He is a Doctoral Candidate at Regent University, Virginia Beach, USA, for a PhD in Strategic Leadership. He can be contacted by Email: [email protected]
