Leaders set the stage for how people behave in an organization. As a leader, one must deal with an important question: what is the best way to handle conflicts in a specific situation? Situations are diverse. An intelligent leader figures out what the core issues are and finds ways to address disputes promptly before they escalate and become even more significant problems.
When dealing with a personality clash in an organization, the first principle is to tackle things immediately by addressing the two warring parties. Do not wait for things to die down naturally. If it is not treated on time, personality clashes tend to escalate because people act from a place of emotions rather than logic. Dale Carnegie said, when dealing with people, remember you are not dealing with creatures of logic, but creatures of emotion— this is true.
When navigating around personality issues, the second principle is that one needs to ask clarifying questions. As an individual or a leader, it is essential that you do not assume the motives and reasoning behind the issue at hand and why coworkers or employees are acting out in a certain way. By asking these clarifying questions, you can get to the root and heart of the matter. As it provides you with the information, you need to make the correct judgments and decisions. Sometimes as leaders, it is easy to jump into a situation based on assumptions. There is a high chance that when you go that route, you are standing on shaky ground since your solutions are based on faulty premises and information.
The third principle that is applicable is by promoting open and constructive communication. When there is an avenue for communication to flow easily and a culture that supports it, different personalities learn how to tolerate and work with people they might otherwise not care for.
The fourth principle is for you to embrace the personality of others. This closely ties in and fits with the previous code. In our personal lives, we might choose not to associate closely with specific groups of people. However, when one enters an organization, there is a place for professionalism. Professionalism dictates that you put away your personal feelings and seek to work towards the good of the organization. This is also where having a strong culture comes into play. Take, for example, in an organization where there is a culture of respect and kindness and embracing of differences; it will be easy to spot when something unbecoming occurs and quickly address the issue.
No matter the culture of an organization, we all face conflicts that are sometimes common or unique to the organization’s culture; what this means is that leaders and employees in an organization need to be strategic when handling disputes.
Often, we think about navigating organizational conflicts and politics as something only leaders should worry about. While it is true, leaders set the pace when it comes to culture. The regular man or woman in the organization plays a role, and while the way they handle and approach conflict might be different based on the power structure, there are still strategies that can be useful and helpful to the ordinary staff or employee.
However, suppose the personality clash is between you and a peer, depending on the circumstances. In that case, it might be best not to respond immediately, especially when the other person is being aggressive. This will help to deescalate arguments, stemming it before it gets out of hand. Responding directly might be adding fuel to an already volatile situation. When the other party sees you being calm, they will begin to relax as well.
When handling conflicts at an individual level, it is easy to point fingers at the other party. But often, we also have our faults, so one helpful tactic is to look within and see where you might be wrong and address those issues. Doing so not only deescalates things, but it also wins you more respect as the other party appreciates that you took the effort to fix things.
Further, when dealing with conflict as an individual, focus not only on the negative aspects of the other party’s personality but the positive. This will help you act more professionally and logically instead of acting out from the emotional perspective alone.
Another strategy to try is to reframe how you look at the situation. By looking at the problem with new eyes, it douses the fire. It helps you be more level-headed in accessing the case. This strategy is particularly relevant and essential in an explosive scene where you have a coworker screaming at the top of their lungs. It is expected at this point that you might respond in anger in a bid to defend your point of view and position on the matter. However, what if you could imagine them as a petulant toddler throwing a tantrum? You will probably smile a little and shake your head, and in that second, your mind sees things in a new way. In doing so, you have reframed the situation and taken control of your actions by taking a step back and refusing to further engage with the person.
As a leader, you must be strategic in how you communicate with others. The most effective way to communicate is to figure out what personality you are dealing with at any given moment. Then you tailor your communication to adequately express what you think and need from the other party.
