In a society where age-shaming prompts people to constantly lie about their age; also known as football age, where 35 seems to be the oldest anyone ever wants to visibly be. It begs you to wonder is 30 just a number. What is this big conspiracy that was woven into our subconscious from early childhood about turning 30 that makes it such a scary age? Why am I even scared?
As my 30th birthday inches closer, I find myself experiencing mini meltdowns, panic attacks and anxious moments where I just want to cry my eyes out, sleep and reminisce about the good old days when I used to be young.
I feel the sudden urge to run away from the idea of adulting in a Nigeria filled with instability, I get visibly irritated when friends jokingly call me “aunty”, as I nurse the heaviness of crushing expectations from family and society. I am not where I thought I would be at almost-30, I don’t have all the trappings that society deems acceptable for a woman my age, but I am not worried.
Welcoming your 30s can have you looking back on your life, measuring the weight of your achievements, comparing yourself to friends and followers, honorary mention to the people doing way better than you, with their fancy semi-detached duplex on the island, 3 perfect kids, handsome husband, riveting social presence and well-paying job.
You can get hit with the sudden feeling of inadequacy, when you realize that your life hasn’t exactly gone according to plan, but when has life ever done that?
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My 20s were riddled with mistakes, playing small, living for other people, finding myself and losing her just as quickly. However, I am ready to turn a brand-new leaf, owning my life unapologetically.
Here is a list of things that might help if you are turning 30 like me:
- Live life on your own terms
- Believe in yourself a little more
- Practice gratitude
- Accomplish 30 challenges this year, and it need not be anything major, simply going to the gym or taking your vitamins qualifies.
- Make a list of top 5 goals you would like to accomplish in 3-5 years
- Start a new project
- Take a chance on something new, different and exciting
- Make genuine friendships
- Give back and make the world a better place
- Treat yourself
- Invest in your body, mind and spirit.
At the end of the day, relax and have as much fun as possible. Enjoy the ride, embrace getting older and never stop learning.
The opposite of getting older isn’t one we all particularly look forward to, so why not embrace living in every sense of the word. You’re getting wiser, more experienced and bolder and as we all know, life begins at the end of your comfort zone. So, live a little more.
Debbie Chinasa Collins is a published author, writer, host and beauty pageant titleholder. She is the author of “Woman like the Sea” a poetry book about femininity and empowerment. She is also a co-host of a podcast called Feminine Expressions where hosts share funny and honest stories that aim to inspire and encourage women to become their best selves. Her mantra is to carry a bit of light with you wherever you go.
