• Tuesday, April 16, 2024
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BusinessDay

No sleep for the wicked

In Nigeria and much of Africa, Catholic same-sex couples see no blessings soon

I haven’t been within the four walls of a church for a very long time mostly because I think it’s a place where poor people go to make noise and disturb God. I have everything I want so what will I be looking for in a church? Well, this used to be my opinion until recently.

I started thinking differently after I stumbled on Fabian sleeping again (by the way Fabian is my driver). I had gone for a brief meeting… emphasis on the word ‘brief’ and by the time I returned to the car, Fabian was snoring loudly. This guy could sleep at the drop of a hat. The only time he isn’t sleeping is when he is behind the wheel. All he has to do is recline the car seat, cover his face with his bowler hat and off he goes.

The truth is that I envied him. He had something that I desperately yearned for. Like I said earlier, I live comfortably and I have everything that I want but unfortunately, sleep is one luxury that I cannot afford. For the eight years, I have not been able to sleep for more than an hour at a stretch. It’s telling on my health and I can’t keep on living this way.

When I asked Fabian how sleeping happens so easily for him, he casually said, “oga I don’t know how it happens o! All I know is that God gives His beloved sleep”. His words steered up something within me and I realized that I have been looking for help in all the wrong places. If doctors and spiritualists could not help me, maybe it was time to try God.

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Sunday morning came and I decided that I wasn’t going to any big church where I would easily be recognized so I drove for a while until I found one in an obscure part of town. The place was filled up by the time I got there but I was lucky to find a seat close to the door. Good position if I must say. It will make my exit very easy.

I particularly enjoyed the songs from the choir and I hummed to a few of them that I could remember.
After a while, a funny looking man mounted the pulpit to deliver his sermon, I couldn’t help smiling as I did a mental calculation of what he was wearing from head to toe. “Cheap cloth, poor preacher”, I thought as I shook my head.

The preacher began to tell the familiar story about the prodigal son but there was a twist to his version because he was saying things about me, things that no one else knew. My smile turned into a frown. How did this stranger know these things about me? How?

He kept looking at my direction as if he had an agenda to expose my secret. One time he even pointed at me and shouted, “confess and repent today because there is no peace for the wicked”.

I don’t know how I made it through that service. I went there because I thought the preacher would wave his hand and command the sleeplessness to leave, then I’ll be fine. This was a far cry from what I expected. I was more troubled than I was before I went there.

That man had no idea what he was talking about. What did he even mean when he said the truth will set me free? Then he talked a lot about confession. What he was telling me to do was as good as signing my death warrant. The consequences were very grievous. A confession from me will ruin everything.

Yes, I did some bad things a long time ago but I was an ignorant young man and I didn’t know any better. I’m older now and I do a lot of good deeds, shouldn’t that count for anything? Ok you know what? Let me tell you my story, maybe you’ll see reason with me after that.

Her name was Vero and she used to be my neighbor at Ibeju Coker. It was a ‘face me I face you’ compound with six apartments while the landlord’s building was at the front.

At one of our yard meetings, the landlord openly appreciated Vero for the progress she brought into the compound. His orisha had revealed to him that his new tenant had ‘good head’ and he didn’t want to take it for granted. An outsider would think he was superstitious but on the contrary, he was right. Everyone in that compound was making steady progress back to back.

The fact was established that she had ‘good head’ and that I can be successful just by being her neighbor, then it means that being the man in her life will be double the blessings. So as a sharp guy that I am, I quickly set my plans in motion to woo her. She was a hard nut to crack but after a while, Vero fell flat for me. I had her where I wanted so the next thing was to sit back and enjoy my windfall.

But wait a minute.. Vero had a secret! And her secret led to my own secret? Don’t be confused. I will explain.

Wanna know what these secrets are? Then join me next weekend for the concluding part of this story?