• Monday, June 17, 2024
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Hips don’t lie

Hips don’t lie

The first time I ever heard the phrase “hips don’t lie” was from my brother Saheed. There was something about his love for girls with round, curvaceous hips and a big backside. Then he encountered Hauwa and all of that changed. They met when he went for his youth service in Kaduna State. She was his landlord’s daughter and she was a very pleasant person. It was surprising and rather nice to hear my brother talk about a girl without referring to certain body parts. I was impressed with this growth because I was always worried about his myopic stance.

After the service year, Saheed opted to stay back in Kaduna because of the opportunities that were available to him over there. I wasn’t sure if this decision was influenced by his love for Hauwa or something else. Whatever it was, he sure made the right choice.

Three years down the line, Saheed was convinced beyond any shadow of doubt that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with Hauwa. When he shared the news with our family, we were more than happy to welcome her. She had visited us a couple of times in Ibadan and it was so easy to love her. What’s there not to love about her? You could never fault Hauwa. She combined beauty, brains and brawn with being hard working and industrious. She complemented my brother in so many ways and they both made a fantastic team.

Within the space of five years of being married, they were blessed with two beautiful children and several thriving businesses with choice properties sprawled in different parts of the country. Hauwa’s father was instrumental to their achievements as he continued to introduce my brother to captains of industries and the movers and shakers of the polity.

Allow me to digress a little. A while ago, my childhood bestie Evaly, returned to Nigeria after her long sojourn in the United States. According to her, the men in America were not ready to settle down so she came home to find herself a man. Evaly had built a career for herself abroad but I could tell from her stories that she also has “loose pants”… if you know what I mean. She spent her time frolicking and wasting her youth then suddenly realized that she needed to settle down and have a family of her own. As much as I did not endorse her lifestyle I couldn’t push her away because of old times.

When she talked about getting a place to put up temporarily while she sorted out things, I thought it would be a waste of money so I spoke to Saheed about it and he offered to give her a flat in one of his apartment buildings in Lagos.
“Evaly figure-one” he teased as he recalled the name he used to call her. She used to be a very skinny girl and Saheed would always tease her. He said she looked like the number 1 so he called her Evaly figure-one. I had to remind him that that was a very long time ago because Evaly was no longer that skinny girl he used to know.

One time Saheed was in Ibadan and he called me so that we could meet up and visit Evaly together but unfortunately I was at the airport in Lagos enroute Abuja so he had to go alone. Later that day, he called again and all I could deduce from what he was saying was that the “hips don’t lie”. Just one meeting with Evaly and my brother was back to talking nonsense. I could tell that he was blown away by her voluptuous hips and I warned him sternly to stay away from her. I asked why he would allow himself be swayed by her BBL and he argued that he couldn’t even tell the fake from the original, what matters most is that he liked what he was seeing. He didn’t realise how much he had missed this until he saw Evaly.

After several minutes of arguing, I made him promise never to see her again and he swore on our mother’s grave to keep his distance. It would be stupid of him to have someone like Hauwa and even consider cheating at all. That will be sheer madness.

Now here’s the shocker I received in my email this morning. Saheed was obviously too ashamed to tell me what was going on instead he sent an email to bewail his woe. The email contained copies of medical reports from different hospitals. There was a lot of them with medical jargons that I couldn’t make out, maybe because I hurriedly read through them. There had to be something in there for me to see, that’s why Saheed mailed it to me in the first place, so I calmed down and took my time and went over them slowly, one after the other and this time my eyes caught what I had missed earlier.

I dropped everything I was doing and took the earliest flight I could get to be with my brother. How in the world did he contract HiV? When I saw him at the hospital, he looked like a shadow of himself. Hauwa his dotting and loving wife was hands-on making sure her husband was receiving the best treatment. But as soon as she stepped out, Saheed motioned to me to come close to him then he whispered in my ears that he has been visiting Ibadan regularly to see Evaly. They’ve been having an affair for over a year and were careful to hide it from me all this while. Looking back, he could understand why she always insisted on him using protection but he stubbornly refused.

When the elders said, “a dog destined to get missing or die will not hear the hunters whistle”, they were talking about my brother.

When he confronted Evaly with his HIV status, she didn’t deny that she could have infected him. She was sorry but also advised him to take care of himself the same way she’s been doing for the past eight years, then she appreciated him for gifting her the flat and ensuring that it was now in her name. He could keep in touch if he wanted otherwise she wished him all the best. Wow!

Saheed couldn’t believe this was happening to him. He was street smart so he couldn’t understand how Evaly figure-one could outsmart him and even give him a death sentence. I don’t think he was outsmarted, I believe he is reaping from his greed. In a new development, he was informed that his wife would also have to run a test to ascertain her status. The fear and guilt was eating him up faster than the actual diagnosis.

I could not believe that my brother went back on his promise to stay away from Evaly. He disrespected his beautiful wife by cheating with Evaly just because of her hips. It’s sad and quite unfortunate that it had to take this terrible incident to educate my brother that sometimes the hips do lie. I was very disappointed in him.

Going back to see Evaly and even having an affair with her behind my back was his sole decision so it is his responsibility to deal with it and face the consequences alone. I wish him well and hope that he will be able to clean up the mess he has caused… I wonder how that is even possible.

As for Evaly, she’s been my bestie since we were kids but now I know that she’s worse than an enemy. She has no business being in my life anymore.