Having a successful marriage does not happen by chance, it is a product of series of many actions with the goal of deeper commitment and bonding.
There are lots of elements that make a marriage strong; this article sheds light on few of the most important pillars that couples should pay attention to.
PURPOSE AND VISION:
The Bible says that “where there is no vision, the people perish”.
Where you lack a vision, goal and plan for your marriage, you have unconsciously set up your marriage to perish. Every marriage should have a defining vision for why they are together and what they want to achieve together? If couples are able to successfully answer these hard questions, they would have a smooth sail during challenging and troubled times in their marriage, thereby, building such a marriage on a solid rock.
Disruptions are inevitable in a marriage, a solid marital foundation, makes it easy for couples to weather any storm. On the flip side, when couples carry on without a goal, purpose or vision, it is easy for them to be distracted, seek for self-gain and the desire to live separately because there is really nothing solid for them to hang on to.
Create some time alone and list out what purposes you are achieving as an individual.
Also, highlight the vision that surrounds your marriage beyond companionship and note down how it affects your home as a couple.
Read also: Improving your relationship by being adaptable
CONNECTION AND FRIENDSHIP:
You need to be friends first, lovers second. There is a common misconception that sexual intimacy results to closeness in a marriage, this is false! Sexual intimacy (though great), ought to be the outcome of a solid emotional intimacy between couples. It is important for couples to work hard at being friends with each other first; else, chances are that the union will falter. You must be able to tell each other everything, like, you can’t wait to talk to each other, appreciate each other and encourage each other.
Of course, all these require first and foremost, self-love, then vulnerability, empathy, honesty, trust, etc. It is important for couples to continue to bond together through activities like dreaming of the future together, spending one-on-one time together, such as, reading together, praying together, learning together, hanging out, or doing any sport activity capable of keeping both of you bonded. Stoking the flames of friendship throughout a marriage is a brilliant and important way to keep your marriage healthy and happy.
To what degree are you friends?
How can you increase your bond? What routines can you set up for yourselves?
COMMUNICATION AND RESPECT:
I tag respect with communication because good communication is built on the foundation of respect. Believe it or not, respect is shown either through your body language, your actions and the words that you utter, which are the different modes of communication. If you have no regard for your spouse’s thoughts and feelings, it will be nearly impossible to have a real conversation. That said, the value you place on your spouse speaks volumes in the way you communicate.
Couples should strive to constantly communicate with empathy, respect, admiration and kindness. Cheerfully talk about your daily activities, goals, vision, things that matter to your essence, lives, destinies, marriage, and children, lovingly resolve conflicts. Doing all these and more, makes it easy for you to constantly know more about each other. In a like manner, it prevents being caught unawares about a partner’s new trait or dispositions.
It’s important that couples work on a positive approach in terms of, how they talk, listen to each other, absorb each other’s opinions, and how they endeavor to create a safe space for understanding and endurance.
Do you feel respected in your marriage?
How well do you communicate and what intentional effort can you put in place?
Now, what can you do differently in your marriage?
