Some people are fortunate enough to be born with silver spoons in their mouths while others have to work exceptionally hard to purchase one for themselves.
Emem Okon, a 33-year woman, fell into the latter category. The eldest child in a family of eight children, Emem who grew up in the midst of extreme poverty says her parents drummed it into her ears quite early that she had to work twice as hard as privileged children to probably get half of what they have and this she says stuck in her brain for long time.
Emem began, “I can remember quite vividly while growing up, my mother would always drag me inside our one room whenever I’m playing with my peers most of who were from wealthy or middle-class homes and remind me why I need to study hard. She said those kids can afford to play their entire life because their future was secured but I cannot do that because they were steps ahead of me.”
For someone who came from a state stereotyped as one that breeds housemaids, gatemen, cooks and drivers, Emem was determined to change the course of their lives and this she did by devoting her entire spare time to her studies.
“I knew where I was coming from and I decided on where I wanted to go. My mother was a cook and I had no plans of taking after her profession. I wanted something better than the menial jobs my people were known for, not just for myself but to improve the life of my family members,’’ Emem said.
Emem observed that the rich does not necessarily work harder than the poor and as such she said her little mind could not understand why her parents who engaged in strenuous jobs earned little.
As a small child in primary six, Emem watched her parents struggle and sweat all day only to come home with meagre income that could barely take care of the family needs. She noticed that the rich people just like the ones her parents worked for, just cross their legs and gave orders while sipping their cup of tea. Emem wanted their life, money and she was ready to work hard to get there.
“The only way for a poor soul like me was to read my way up there and that I was prepared for,” Emem said.
Emem’s father promised to make sure she gets the best education possible but he never lived to fulfill his promise as death came calling earlier than they imagined making life even more difficult than it was for them.
Emem was preparing for her Junior Secondary School examination when her father died. Emem’s father had an accident while he was on duty. Life became so tough for them because her mother was earning so little compared to her Dad and it was the resources that were coming in from her father that had sustain them all those while.
After struggling to complete her secondary school education, Emem could not proceed to the university because the resources to get her were not available. She had to get a job to save up some money for school and also support the family.
“I passed my secondary school examinations at one sitting but there was no money to further my education. I got a teaching job in one private school close to my house and with the small salary I got from there, I helped my mother take care of my younger ones,” she said.
Two years after working as a primary school teacher, Emem’s mother who was now a trader decided it was time for Emem to go back to school but on the condition that she sees her other siblings through school upon graduation.
“After thinking about our condition, my mother told me to buy JAMB so I can go back to school. We agreed that once I’m done with school, I will help her train my brothers and sisters.
“I got admission into one of the federal universities in the country to study Banking and Finance, with the dream of working in one of the good banks in the country. It was really difficult for me to survive in school with the money I was getting from home. I had to start braiding student’s hair mostly on Saturdays and Sundays to make more money for hand-outs and other needs”
“I was posted to Benue State and I prayed to serve with any bank because I heard most people are lucky enough to be retained after service but I ended up serving in a secondary school in village. I had no problem with food because the students showered me and other teachers with most of their farm produce so I sent money half of my money home every month as soon as I got the alert,” she said.
After youth service, she combed the streets of Port Harcourt looking for Jobs but when she could not find her desired job, she ended up with the one that was available.
“I left Benue State for Port Harcourt in Rivers State two days after collecting my discharge certificate and immediately started job hunting. I’ve always wanted to work in a bank but when the bank job was not forthcoming, I started teaching again but this time in a secondary school. The salary was okay for a single person but not someone like me that had so many responsibilities,” she recounted.
Faced with the task of taking care of her siblings, Emem resigned after teaching for four months with the decision to travel to Lagos in search of greener pastures.
“While I was going around submitting my CV in different companies, most of them told me that they would get back to me after hearing from their head office in Lagos. I’ve heard stories about Lagos and the opportunities inherent in that city so I told my Mum about my plans and she said I can stay with her friend pending the time I get a place of my own.”
The next day after Emem touched Lagos, she was everywhere submitting her résumé with the hope that one of the companies would call her soon. Heaven smiled on her and the interviews soon came rolling in.
One of the companies she submitted her résumé invited her for interview after which she was offered a job. The take home was huge and she wasted no time in sharing the good news with her family whose joy knew no bounds.
“I got a text message to come for an interview in a company on Lagos Island and this was one job I prayed to get because the salary was inviting as one of the staff told me. I did my best during test and oral interview, and was called to come and pick up my letter of appointment. My mum was so happy when I told her about the job because her business was not generating as much money as before.
Less than two weeks after working in her new office, she was shocked beyond words when her boss told her she has to be his mistress and when she shook her head, he said her days in the company are numbered.
“My boss sent for me one morning and told me he wanted us to start going out and when I refused he said I cannot continue working with them. I felt very bad hearing it then because I’ve already wasted so much money on transport moving to and fro from Agege to Lagos Island for almost two weeks.
“It’s easy to condemn and talk ill about ladies who give in to temptations like this when you’re not in their shoes. If not because of my upbringing, I was tempted at some point for the sake of my family but after weighing what I will gain against what I will lose, I discovered that it was not worth the try,” she said.
The next few months marked the phase of another trying period for Emem who besides taking care of her personal needs had her family to worry about.
“When I got home that fateful day, I decided that I was no longer going back to that office. I went through a lot in the university and I never for once thought about cheapening myself to get what I needed. So, I cannot afford to do that now,’’ she recounted.
The patient dog they say eats the fattest bone, Emem finally got her dream job in one of the biggest banks in Nigeria with a fat salary and other mouth-watering benefits to go with it.
Looking back, she said she was glad she never compromised on her values and she encourages everyone to work hard and keep their heads up because hard work still pays in the end.
Chinwe Agbeze