It is normal for financial experts to talk about money as if it is merely a matter of naira and kobo. While this may be true, when you are preparing a profit and loss statement for a business, it is definitely not the case when you are dealing with families, especially families with a baby on the way. Emotions come into play. This is why figuring out household finances can sometimes be such a knotty affair; there are so many issues to deal with than just money alone.
When you have a baby, your own childhood and the way you were raised will greatly influence how you act as a parent. Perhaps you were an only child. Because of this, you may want to have only one child yourself. Of course, the reverse may also be true and you may want to have a big family, so your children will have siblings you never had.
If you did not have something as a child, you may feel strongly that you must give this thing you lacked to your child. This could be virtually anything: money, toys, a big house, a college education, or love. By the same token, if you had a rich abundance as a child, you may be determined to provide the same bounty to your offspring.
Your partner may be focused inwardly on the baby and not thinking about money as much as you are. Talking about it may initially scare or intimidate her. She may feel defensive. Reassure her by explaining that you simply feel the need to check in with her and stay in sync on this important subject that concerns you both.
You bring a certain amount of emotional baggage into parenthood. This holds true for your partner as well, and her baggage isn’t the same as yours. Always keep this in mind when you talk with her about money. You both may work up a great deal of emotional heat on topics that, from a strictly financial point of view, are relatively unimportant, but these issues lie at the core of how you see yourself as a parent and your expectations for your child.
Your partner had her own unique childhood experiences. These experiences, whether positive or negative, will help shape her view about how money should be spent, just as your childhood informs your view. Some of the expectations you have about raising children are formed out of your own experience. Other people’s experiences and what they have told you will also play a role. Television programs and the media may have led you to create some unrealistic expectations of what family life is like. All of this will emerge when you talk about the often emotionally volatile subject of money.
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