The annual celebration of love in honor of Saint Valentine of Rome, called Valentine’s Day, happens on February 14. It is a day where family or friends, or even just with ourselves, use generally as an opportunity to spend quality time together.
Some of the items used to symbolize the day include heart-shaped balloons and cakes, sweets and chocolates, and teddy bears.
The Valentine’s Day mood has been activated in the country with various advertisements seen almost everywhere on how people “in love” can enjoy this year’s celebration with a torch different from previous celebrations.
While several people have made plans on how to enjoy the day with their loved ones by ordering cakes and gifts, among others, some could not happily enjoy the day with their loved ones.
Some were abused instead of receiving love and tenderness from their lover. For such people, whether given flowers and chocolate by a loving new spouse or purchased for oneself, it will never be enough to make up for the abuse received.
Also, how about those who their lovers have killed? How will their relatives or children cope in this season of love with the trauma that they lost their loved ones to someone who claimed to love them?
Furthermore, while we think of home comforts, we think of much more than a tastefully decorated space. Home is where we create memories with our loved ones, but home (and beyond) is far from a safe refuge for domestic violence and abuse victims.
Nowadays, many (current and previous spouses and dating partners) are faced with affection today and abused tomorrow.
Violence among partners has now become a common occurrence, and it is widespread across all communities, regardless of age, socioeconomic status, sexual orientation, gender, race, and religion.
It arises in marriages and relationships and affects people of various colors, financial origins, and educational levels.
Romantic relationships are now characterized by abuse or aggressiveness, ranging from a single violent episode with long-term consequences to multiple years of chronic and severe attacks. Thus, domestic violence and abuse have no bounds.
In addition, poverty, illiteracy, parental neglect and abuse, feelings of poor self-worth, toxic masculinity and femininity, and, most importantly, substance misuse contribute to domestic violence.
It has also been documented that domestic violence incidents increase in scenarios similar to those seen during COVID-19 when there was lockdown, which is often a result of the social, economic, and financial suffering experienced during the lockdown.
Like the rest of the world, Nigeria was subjected to an unwelcome lockdown during COVID-19. The wages of most Nigerians, especially those working in the informal sector, dropped due to the enforcement of the stringent lockdown mechanism. Combined with the government’s ineffective distribution of palliatives, these problems contributed to families’ declining socioeconomic condition.
The resultant impact of the financial problems linked with the lockdown triggered stress and frustration. As a result, the people adopted negative coping techniques such as substance misuse.
It was also discovered that this financial distress has led to spousal abuse in major cities in Nigeria, such as Lagos, the heart of the pandemic, and Abuja, the federal capital. Statistics show that domestic violence affects over 2 million women and 800,000 men in Nigeria.
Furthermore, domestic violence is on the rise worldwide, not just in Nigeria. The National Statistics Domestic Violence Fact Sheet shows that in the United States, show that one in every three women and one in every four men experienced physical violence by an intimate partner.
Nearly 20 people, on average, per minute, are physically abused by an intimate partner, which equates to more than 10 million men and women in a year that experienced domestic violence.
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Also, 142 women were murdered at work by their abusers between 2003 and 2008. This accounts for 78 percent of women killed at work during this period. Victims of intimate partner violence miss 8.0 million days of paid work each year; between 21 and 60 percent of intimate partner violence victims lose their jobs due to the assault. Intimate partner violence also costs more than $8.3 billion per year.
However, victims in Nigeria are unwilling to disclose the violence encountered. This may be due to societal ramifications such as stigmatization and victimization. Spousal violence has been more common in recent years, with lives being taken unjustly and untimely in an attempt to exact vengeance, vent rage, or demand personal retribution rather than pursuing justice through established judicial institutions.
While we are all about enjoying this day dedicated to love, we must also remember the terrible effects that Valentine’s Day may have on both men and women in violent relationships.
Busayo Aderounmu is an economics lecturer at Covenant University, Ota, Ogun State.
