The significance of a father’s influence

I believe that what we become depends on what our fathers teach us at odd moments, when they aren’t trying to teach us. We are formed by little scraps of wisdom. – Umberto Eco (1932-2016), Italian Medievalist and Philosopher

Little or no attention is usually paid to the commemoration of Father’s Day, which comes up every third Sunday in June every year. The reason is not farfetched – the roles of fathers in the life of a child and in society at large are underestimated. Most people assume that all that is expected of a father in a family is to cater for their needs. No! This is completely untrue.

In most studied cultures, fathers are assumed to play only the role of a provider. Whereas a true father plays two more roles apart from being a provider, he is also a protector and disciplinarian.

It is not to say that mothers are not functional in these roles but the fathers are usually noted for these roles. Let it be noted that mothers could do as much as the fathers also.

Fatherhood isn’t just a mere status one attains, it comes with responsibilities, obligations and selfless sacrifices. Parenting as a father is characterised by sacrificial duties. Sacrifice becomes an integrated phase of a father’s life.

To a good father, his personal life needs take the backseat while the child’s, the front seat. A perfect epitome of a responsible life is that of a good father.

The paternal bond between a father and the child demands that the father provides unflinching care and constant sacrifices. A father is not just a male who begets a child, there is more to who a father is in the life of everyone. A father is not just the male parent of a child, he is the mentor of that child.

He coaches his child in a fatherly manner leaving indelible marks in the mind of that child. The child looks up to his father to provide a feeling of security and confidence. A father talks less and acts more. He leads the way by acting what he professes. He may not always declare his love for the family all the time but he shows it always.

Not every good man is a good father, but every good father passes for a good man. Good father in this context means a man who displays desirable character for their children. A responsible father constantly reminds their children of the consequences of their actions later in life as he disciplines them calmly and lovingly. Whether the children realize this or not – good fathers are role models to their children.

We cannot overemphasize the role a paternal presence plays in the life of a child as a father’s impacts outlive their existence. A research once revealed that people with actively involved father figures in their lives during childhood are more likely to have a strong lasting marriage.

People without father figures in their lives may likely have difficulty in having an influential role model and developing some true values of life. A child from a father-absent home may have trouble in his academics and eventually drop out from school. Father figures here, refer to biological, adoptive, or step-father. A father builds and leaves legacies.