I will not write a tribute for Seyi. Writing one would mean I accept he is actually gone. That is a reality I am not ready to face yet.
The news of Seyi Bickersteth’s death on 3rd March was a shock to everyone who knew him. He was hale and hearty and in high spirit the previous day. And somehow, he did not come across as the sort of man that would go to bed and just not wake up the next day. He was too full of life for that!
I first met Seyi in 1990. I had been interviewing to join the firm KPMG (Arthur Andersen as it then was) and the interview with Seyi was to be the final one to determine whether or not I join the firm. The interview was scheduled for 10am on a Monday. And as is usual with fresh graduates looking for a job, I got to the office at a few minutes past 9am. I settled down to wait, after informing the Receptionist of the reason why I was there. When it was 5 minutes past 10am, I went up to the receptionist to remind her that I was supposed to see Seyi at 10am. She assured me she had not forgotten and that she would let me know as soon as Seyi was ready to see me. I think I got up to remind her every 10 minutes thereafter. Having come all the way from Aba for the interview, I wasn’t going to let some forgetful receptionist blow my chance of joining the prestigious firm! Eventually at about noon, I decided to go and get something to eat and diligently informed the receptionist, just so she does not think I had gotten impatient and left.
On my way back, I was feeling rather self-conscious of the several times I had gone to the receptionist to remind her of my interview, and so decided to quietly sit down. But as I soon as I got in, she informed me that Seyi was ready to see me. Apparently, he had come in while I was out. She had called to let him know I was back as soon as she sighted me walking in through the gate. She was still describing how I would get to his office when Seyi himself came down the stairs and took me to his office. Being the Aba boy that I was, I rounded up on him on how our interview was supposed to be at 10am and how I had been waiting for him since then. He apologized profusely and informed me he had to see a client at short notice. Back in the day, there were no mobile phones and land lines were few. The interview itself lasted about 30 minutes, at the end of which Seyi asked me when I would like to resume.
Knowing what I know now, I realize that that sort of rather aggressive behavior would likely have cost me the job, as most interviewers would have considered it disrespectful. But not Seyi. He looked through all of that and saw a boy who was not afraid to express his views. I also suspect it made him take a particular interest in this rather unusual Aba boy.
Seyi epitomized humility. Not the sort of humility most of us like to think we have. But real humility. He was completely inured to the sort of expectations most of us have, by virtue of our position. This enabled him to genuinely relate to different people across different levels of society.
Seyi had the memory of an elephant. Yes, he did! I doubt he ever forgot someone he met, no matter how briefly. I certainly know he didn’t forget whatever you said to him!
I have read several of the tributes that have been written on Seyi. And I realise that he touched many lives, just the way he touched mine. I am yet to find someone who met Seyi and was not captivated by his sheer electricity and presence. And so, I will not write a tribute. I fear that my words will not do justice to the person that Seyi was.
I had the rare privilege of working directly with Seyi from a young age in my career. I still remember a marketing call that we made. An American company had just set up shop in Nigeria and was in the process of choosing a tax consultant from among the top accounting firms in Nigeria and we had been invited.
I spent several days on our presentation, making sure it would impress! When we finally got to the meeting, Seyi and the American spent the entire hour that the meeting was scheduled for, discussing American football! Seyi’s knowledge of the game and the players, past and present was legendary. He knew the greats that the gentleman’s favorite team had produced, the positions they played and the nuances to their style of play. The American was so taken by him, that we barely had time to discuss the proposal. He told us right there and then, that he would like us to be his tax consultants and that he would be sending us a formal letter to that effect. I still wonder what he told the other firms that he had scheduled to meet. But I learnt a valuable lesson on the power of relationships. Beyond our subject matter which we had to know better than the next person, Seyi taught us the power of having a broad knowledge of a wide variety of other subjects and being able to find the connection with the other party.
My thoughts and prayers are with dear Catherine, his wife, and Melody and Amy, his daughters. If we, who merely felt the reflected warmth of Seyi’s personality are so grieved by his absence, I can only imagine how lost you, who basked in the direct heat of his love and devotion must be! But be consoled that if Seyi had had a choice on how he should go, it would have been exactly as he did – quietly leaving the scene without subjecting his loved ones to years and months of having to look after him on his sick bed.
In some parts of Ibo land, there is this tradition that when a man dies, the wife is required to completely shave her hair, as a mark of honor for her husband. It is not a tradition we have in my part of Ibo land. But my mum shaved her hair when my dad died, although she was not required to. I shaved my hair when my mum died, although I was not required to. I will be shaving my hair in memory of my boss, mentor and friend, Mr. Oluseyi PesuTogonu-Bickersteth.
Thank you for investing a part of your life in me. Good night, boss. I will never forget you.
Onyenkpa is COO, KPMG in Nigeria
