David Cameron, a former British prime minister, once described Nigeria as fantastically corrupt. Beyond some ‘Goebbelian’ megaphones in government, nobody protested against such an outlandish ‘rubbishment’ of the ‘giANT’ of Africa. Even the Minister of Foreign Affairs did not do the usual, simple, and harmless ‘shakara’: summon the British Ambassador and tell him that ‘your oga has crossed the line.’ One of these wicked social critics (my memory fails me) has described Nigeria as a whale washed ashore, and people came with diverse instruments (knives, axes, chainsaws) to cut choicest parts for themselves. And because everybody was busy cutting and packing, nobody bothered to moderate the operation. Luckily, it was not in Whiteman’s land, where animal activists (more interested in animals than in human beings) would have accused him of promoting brutality towards animals or insensitivity towards animal rights. They may even place him on the visa-denial list!
Because mind-boggling corruption stories are two-for-a-kobo in Nigeria (some over-garnished, some fake, but a good number are also true), we are no longer shocked. It has moved from thousands to millions to billions to trillions and from naira to dollars. Of course, even when we would have been shocked, we are always entering ‘voicemail’ if the thief were to be ‘our thief.’ You see how those whom Yahaya Bello impoverished to the tune of N100bn+ were celebrating his return from the detention the other day. Of course, they were not the first, and they would not be the last. The instances of ‘One James Ononafe Ibori’ and the ‘Governor General of Ijaw Nation,’ both from the distressed Niger Delta, are still fresh in our memories.
Read also: 2025 Budget to be transmitted to President soon – Akpabio
A front-page review of our media reveals these mind-boggling financial acrobatics. The Kano State government has proposed a mass wedding to the tune of N2.5bn for 2025. (Why won’t he empower those young men to be able to marry for themselves? I also don’t know how they will survive after the wedding, but it is not my business. That is after the governor had empowered 7158 women with goats (not cows!) costing N322000! Maybe Trump had slammed a 400 percent tariff on goats! In the same Kano, the Anti-graft Agency uncovered a warehouse where N1bn FG’s rice palliatives were being repackaged for sale (not for Saleh!).
The NPA MD, Abubakar Dantsoho, has just been accused of N175bn budget padding, just in one parasitic parastatal, not the whole ministry, and a group has dragged former Governor Emmanuel over 1.5 trn fraud. He appears to have joined the former Delta State Governor, Dr Okowa, in the Trillion-Naira league. Abdulahi Suleman, a BDC operator, recently squealed on how he dollarised N22bn from Sale Maman, the former Minister of Darkness, just as his predecessor, Olu Agunloye, was on 4/2/25, re-arraigned over N6bn fraud. The other day, we were told how four firefighters leased 4 fire trucks belonging to Akwa Ibom State to a private company in PH for N140,000 daily per truck for three years with an MOU on a revenue-sharing formula. Jigawa State discovered 6348 spirit workers, costing the state about N3.4bn. I wonder how many workers are employed by the Jigawa State Government (I hope this is not defamatory)! We also heard that 30 MDAs were caught in 14bn tax fraud under PMB while one ‘unknown’ Nigerian public servant owned 753 duplexes recently forfeited to EFCC just as $53m alleged Deziani loot has just been repatriated from the US while the report on the N6trn looting at NDDC got missing in transit. Of course, you must have heard the stories of re-looting the loot! And on 4/2/25, the Kaduna Assembly recommended the investigation of El Rufai et al. for misappropriating N432bn!
The question then is why, with all these figures flying around, I decided to waste your time with a mere N280m budgetary allocation in Ondo State, which is pretty much cash in ALL dimensions. Well, the figure caught my attention because it is small, and that is even in a budget that provided more than N11bn as security votes for the ‘Misery’ Finance. Our people usually say that it is a flood from a small rain that usually fills the local bridge. Anyway, I will tell you a story. In 2010, a former Chairman of Lagos Island Local Government, Luqman Ajose, was jailed for two years without any option of fine for a fraud of JUST N1m. I was not there, but I know that the man must have committed several signs and wonders, but probably, he crossed the line, and they decided to teach him a lesson. And they buried ALL the huge acts of financial recklessness under the carpet but jailed him for N1m fraud.
Read also: Senate, Reps to lay 2025 budget reports as N’Assembly resumes
So what is it about this N280m budget for the Speaker’s phone calls in Ondo State? I wish to state that if I had considered the messenger (PDP), I would not have bothered because it is the case of a pot calling the kettle black. PDP and APC are the same (APDP). However, the government did not deny the figure but stated that it was imperative for the attainment of its strategic agenda for the good people of the state. So, even though I am not a quant, this is what I found. N280m pa amounts to N23333333 monthly, 767133 daily, and 32000 per minute. That is assuming that the phone is on 24/7 (which is ‘impossible’). However, the MTN tariff for today is N7.8 per minute! Just N7.8; and even when we adjust for the proposed 50 percent hike, it will be about N12!
You can look at the figures and draw your conclusions. But this has shown that you can use small figures to prove big cases. However, I forgot that the honourable speaker might call his global partners for 24 hours every day! Case Closed!
Join BusinessDay whatsapp Channel, to stay up to date
Open In Whatsapp
