It was a few days into the new year and Amanda was holding her annual personal retreat, the one she called a “Board meeting with Me.” The practice started for her a few years prior, and it had become one of the best things she did for herself as it helped her think through each year that was just rounding up.
On these board meeting days, she took a full day off and checked into a hotel for 24 hours so that she could think without any interruptions from her children; she had been working remotely and was off for a few weeks. Her husband had just returned from his own solo board meeting, and she was glad that they both held a forte for each other to recalibrate.
Amanda had already received invitations to five vision board parties. In the past, she would excitedly rush to register and attend as many of these as possible, but the excitement would wear off within a few weeks into the year. The parties were fun, but the execution was usually another story altogether.
She often struggled with these goals and the things she had convinced herself that she wanted to achieve. Even though her knowledge and awareness of the options that were available to her had increased over time and she had learnt to embrace things and experiences that had been strange to her in the past, she just couldn’t relate to some of the goals she set after setting them.
In the last few years, she had decided to face the reality that her strategy wasn’t working. She had started questioning her goals and the motive behind each of them. For instance, one of her goals had been to meet a particular influential personality. It seemed to be the common goal of her peers, so she had also added it to her vision board because she didn’t want to be left out.
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That particular goal had been on her vision board for 2 years until she asked herself WHY she wanted to meet this person. There was nothing of personal or professional benefit from meeting this person. When she realised that there was no concrete reason and no alignment between meeting this person and achieving her goals, she struck it off her vision board and felt much better.
There was also the goal of the countries she wanted to visit. Amanda had always been intrigued the history and development of a particular region in Europe since she was a child and had visited the area only once as a teenager. She had since longed to revisit but it wasn’t a popular tourist destination, she had found herself visiting other countries that she didn’t like.
She later decided to ‘borrow herself sense’ and visit the countries that she really wanted to and since then her vacations had become enjoyable. Afterall, she didn’t owe anybody social media updates, and everyone would be alright.
She had also given her career goals a lot of thought and realised that she didn’t particularly enjoy the path she had been on. Her self-reflection had enabled her to identify the specialty she wanted to focus on and having acquired the necessary certifications, she had witnessed tremendous career success and personal satisfaction at work.
The process of refining her goals had brought her a lot of contentment because she felt truly aligned with her authentic self. She felt like she was living her own scripted life and not a borrowed or fake version.
Like Amanda, each of us needs to examine our goals and resolutions for the coming year. Some of the questions to ask would sound like:
Why do I have each particular goal?
Is it aligned with my overall life purpose in the different areas of my life?
Am I doing this to please others such as my parents, family, peers or society and is pursuing this goal satisfying to me?
We are all aware of the deep desires in our hearts. When our goals align with these authentic desires, we are more likely to experience satisfaction and joy in the new year. Happy New Year in advance and may 2023 be our best year yet.
