I stumbled out of an abusive, manipulative, and detrimental relationship with my last boyfriend in college. After a few counselling sessions, my heart was healing, but not yet whole. It was guarded with ten-foot walls and cannons ready to fire at the next sight of danger. Then he came along. He climbed the walls of my heart and dared to get close. His laughing eyes and crooked smile made me melt. I did not let him know this, of course. He rescued my heart from cynicism and bitterness, showing me how intimacy can improve my overall well-being and that I could trust again. Three and a half years later, we are loving marriage more than ever.
Do you know that emotional intimacy is an important aspect of our personal health? It’s been found that intimacy can actually boost our immune system, lower blood pressure, reduce our risk for heart disease, improve trust and reduce depression or bitterness just like KK’s story. It’s a key building block for a happy, healthy, and fulfilling life.
Emotional intimacy refers to a feeling of closeness with another person. This can be with a sexual partner, but can also occur with close friends and family members. Often, these relationships are characterised as interdependent, trusting, and committed.
In comparison, physical intimacy consists of closeness between two people. While this can be expressed platonically through hugs or handshakes, it is also commonly expressed through more sensual touches like kissing and sex.
Healthy and intimate interpersonal relationships are a large component of mental health. Close relationships can not only give you a strong support system to better manage mental illness, but the intimacy they provide can also help fight symptoms of certain mental health disorders like depression. Humans are social creatures and are ultimately built to crave physical connection with others. Physical signs of affection can cover a wide range of actions from something platonic like a hug or handshake to something much more intimate like kissing or sex.
Facts about intimacy’s importance to our personal health
· A higher average of feeling lonely/sad/overwhelmed was associated with a higher cortisol (a hormone that helps regulate your body’s response to stress) awakening response.
· Positive relationship functioning was associated with higher morning cortisol levels, which influences productivity and energy, and a sudden decline in cortisol throughout the day, which promotes rest and sleep.
· Intimacy in everyday life was associated with reduced salivary cortisol secretion, which is a measure of stress.
· Higher levels of long-term loneliness had higher stress response and stress markers.
· People who participated in “Couple Contact Enhancement” intervention had greater increases in salivary oxytocin. Oxytocin is a hormone associated with feelings of love, emotional investment, and long-term connection.
· For every additional hour of work, a person or their partner performed, the person’s total cortisol concentration (an indicator of stress) increased, and with every hour of housework the partner performed, it decreased.
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· A greater quality of social support was associated with lower cortisol concentrations.
· A greater frequency of daily interpersonal stress (the stress you feel as a result of interacting or thinking about the other person) was associated with higher levels of C-reactive protein, which is an inflammatory indicator of cardiovascular health.
· During social interactions, individuals lower in anxious attachment showed lower blood pressure.
· Adolescents who tend to avoid intimacy exhibit increased blood pressure in response to social conflict.
· Greater social interaction with a partner was associated with reduced ambulatory blood pressure compared to social interactions with other individuals.
· Individuals with larger social networks had lower blood pressure.
· Married couples in high-quality relationships have lower blood pressure than single people and married couples in low-quality relationships. However, single people had lower blood pressure than married couples in low-quality relationships.
· People had lower blood pressure after having participated in a training to enhance couple communication compared to before.
· Regular interaction with family members and spouses was associated with lower blood pressure.
· Men with better marital adjustment and more frequent spousal interaction were associated with lower atherosclerosis markers.
· Women with more frequent social interaction were associated with lower atherosclerosis markers.
Factors that can improve Intimacy
· Be Open with Your Partner, Communication is Key.
· Focus on affectionate touch
· Practice being more emotionally vulnerable during sex
· Maintain a sense of curiosity about sexual intimacy
· Make sex a priority
· Engage in activities together
· Seek counsel from a therapist
