Over time, I have seen the impact regrets have on women’s mental health.
Regrets are those echoes of our last decisions that linger in the corridors of our minds, sometimes haunting, sometimes whispering lessons learned. In this edition of “A Woman’s Mind,” we will delve into the profound role regrets play in our minds, lifestyles, and mental health and explore techniques to manage them effectively.
Regrets lead to lower life satisfaction, stress, overthinking, feeling stuck, and an increased risk of mental illnesses like anxiety and depression. It may lead to emotional distress and even substance addiction.
Understanding regrets:
Regrets are not exclusive to any gender, yeah, I know that, thank you very much
(raised eyebrow things). It, however, manifests differently in women’s lives due to societal expectations, cultural norms, and personal experiences. From husband wahala, in-laws drama, parenting palaver, missed opportunities in career and education, business and investment losses, missed opportunity to meet President Tinubu to showcase my coaching talent in my dream! (Hahaha)The spectrum of regrets is vast and varied.
Do you have regrets?
I used to, and they made me sad, angry and miserable.
Now, instead of regrets I learn lessons; I find it more empowering.
I cannot unsee what I have already seen. I cannot unhear what I have already heard. I cannot feel what I have already felt; neither am I Aladdin, so no magic lamp and no genie to command to undo yesterday.
In a nutshell, I had to talk some sense into myself, it was about time anyway and someone had to do it. Why not me? I had a whole lot to lose. I was losing my mind.
Read also: Decoding the mind of a leader
The weight of regrets:
Carrying the burden of regrets can weigh heavily on one’s mental health, seriously,
I know. It can lead to profound sadness, guilt, anger, and even self-doubt. For women especially, the culture of silence and societal pressures to conform to certain standards can exacerbate these feelings, making it challenging to find peace and acceptance.
Embracing growth and resilience:
I realised that in the journey of life, shit happens ( Do please excuse my French).
So I embraced my innate super power, my mind. Mindset shapes the lens through which we approach life, it influences how we perceive regrets, impacting our mental health.
It also challenges, influences our ability to embrace growth, adapt, and enact positive change. I chose the latter.
I decided to make my mind work for me and not against, hence I changed the meaning I gave to my life events that caused me pain. I turned my regrets into lessons and never looked back.
In this journey of mine, regrets, now lessons serve as signposts guiding me towards growth and resilience. By acknowledging my reality ( life events that have caused me pain) and learning to manage them in a healthy manner with compassion and understanding, I reclaimed my mental health, learning, unlearning, relearning, growing, glowing and becoming the very best version of myself.
Let me share with you how I did it.
Read also: Giving mental illness a bad name
Techniques for Managing Regrets:
1. Reflection and Acceptance:
Take time to reflect on the regrets you carry. Acknowledge them without judgement or self-criticism. They do not define your worth or identity.
2. Learn from the past:
Instead of dwelling on what went wrong, what could have been, focus on the lessons learned from the experience. Every regret holds valuable insights that can shape your future decisions and actions.
3. Practice Self-Compassion:
Be kind to yourself as you navigate the feelings of regret. Offer yourself the same kindness and understanding you would extend to a dear friend in a similar situation.
4. Set realistic goals:
Channel your energy into setting SMART goals and taking proactive steps towards achieving them. By focusing on what you can control in the present moment, you can gradually release the grip of past regrets.
5. Seek support:
Don’t hesitate to reach out to trusted friends, family members. Do you have a strong support network? You can also reach out to mental health professionals for support. Sharing your feelings and experiences with others can provide valuable perspective and validation.
Dear reader, as you navigate the complexities of your regrets in life, remember that you are not what has happened to you. You are what you choose to do with what has happened to you. And of course, you are not alone #iamyou. Together, let us embrace the power of the subconscious mind, self-reflection, acceptance and growth, paving the way for healing and transformation.
Warm regards,
Your growth buddy,
Coach (Diddi) Maimuna Ummi Abdullahi
