6 important pillars to make a marriage flourish (part 2)

Still on how to make your marriage flourish, let’s look at 3 more things you should pay attention to.

I shared on purpose and vision, connection and friendship, and communication in the previous article.


A couple that grows and learns together will stay together. Just as a pond becomes stagnant if freshwater is not added, your marriage will grow stale and frail, if it is not infused in a lifetime of learning and growing. If couples will succeed in marriage, then, they must cultivate a growth orientation. Where only one party in a marriage makes the conscious effort to be in tune with relevant knowledge and information which produces personal development/ marital growth, while the other party never has time for such, rather focuses on money, work, and what not, there is bound to be a gap, resulting to lack of connection in that marriage.

The crucial factor here is for the two of you to continue to grow and learn together by reading books together, attending seminars, training, and courses, even paid coaching sessions together. These would equip couples with the same kind of knowledge and information, so that they can, as much as possible, be at the same pace.


It is a popular slogan among Christians that a “marriage is incomplete outside a relationship with God”. In view of this, couples who share the same faith and practice it together are likely to succeed more than those who don’t. When couples engage in spiritual or faith exercises, such as, praying together, walking in different dimensions with God etc., they have a tendency to see their relationships beyond the superficial way people see marriages. Does is it mean that couples who share a strong faith never experience any problems? Of course not! By maintaining a healthy spirituality, couples can in unity, align with what the God is saying to them per time, and they are able to listen to corrections, instructions, wisdom which God may be communicating to them independently or jointly.

God wants couples to rely on His help concerning every marriage issue. He wants you to pray together about them, so that the He can give both of you clarity, devoid of any trace of confusion.

However, if your marriage isn’t on this level yet, start with yourself by developing a personal time with God. Patiently do this to a point where your spouse would voluntarily agree and feel at ease to join you. Some couples find it an uncomfortable and challenging practice, give it time and don’t push it.


Commitment is a mindset that produces healthy actions. People have different kinds of mindset in marriages, namely: resolute mindset, rational mindset, restless mindset, romantic mindset and reluctant mindset. For instance, someone who has a romantic mindset expects passion and intimacy to be constant and budding throughout the marriage, so, such a person would panic when things don’t go well. A resolute mindset believes that regardless of the circumstances, he will take the necessary steps needed to make the marriage experience a turn around. A restless mindset never confronts issues head on, never wants to make things work, rather, it’s always afraid of what what could go wrong and how to escape, if something goes wrong.

Read also: Interview: Get out of unhealthy relationship – Kehinde Bankole

Having said all, commitment helps you overcome all the challenges which may come your way. Commitment keeps you dedicated to your vision. It prods you to persevere in building friendships, keep respecting and communicating with each other, stay committed to growing and working together

In summary, when you match all the points discussed together and practice them in your respective homes, you will discover a stronger intimacy in your marriage. Equally, you will be able to man the gates of your marriage and be practical about making your marriage work. The fact that God revealed your supposed spouse in a dream, vision or through prophesy, doesn’t mean that your marriage will not undergo challenges. The fact that you met each other in the best circumstances doesn’t mean your marriage will not experience rough patches.

The important thing is the unity couples exhibit daily, in making concerted efforts at strengthening the foundation of their marriages, to weather the storm and keep their marriages together at all times.

Now, what else can you do to make your marriage flourish? Agree on this and get accountable. Send an email if you need help with resolving a major issue in your marriage via

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