• Sunday, December 22, 2024
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Touching hearts before asking for hands life’s golden principle

Teaching your children to show kindness during conflicts

The world could be a better place if mankind would learn to show a little kindness and give helping hands as occasion demands.

In the human ecosystem, no one undertakes a journey alone. Human beings by nature are designed to depend on each other in ways both tangible and intangible in order to be able to achieve their goals.

John Maxwell in his book ‘Relationships 101’ said “People don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care.” That is to say, it is by touching people’s hearts that you can possibly get their hands and even their ears.

Serving others is one of life’s most awesome privileges. You cannot help others without helping yourself. Kindness is one of the most difficult things to give away since it usually comes back to you.

If you ever want to make progress in life, then, you must learn to touch hearts before asking for their hands. Be a bridge, not a wall. Unfortunately, this is one thing most difficult for many people, as almost everyone seeks his/her benefits in all situations.

In the Holy Bible, we were told a story of how David and his men lost all their possessions and families to the invading Amalekites army. On David’s way to rescuing his lost possessions, he met a dying man and first decided to offer him help.

He had the choice to overlook the man and continue on his journey, after all, he was in a hurry to rescue his family, but he chose to touch the man’s heart. In doing this, he wasted his precious time and resources to revive the man.

However, after getting the man back to life, he got the vital information needed on where to locate the invaders and recover his family and lost possessions. David first touched the man’s heart before asking for his hands.

It is not always the man who struggles hardest that gets ahead in life; you must swim with the tide if you want to make progress. Men who prosper seamlessly in life are men ready to work in accord with the natural forces.

And one of those natural forces is mankind. You cannot trample on your fellow man and expect him to be of help to you when the need arises. If you give help to the man next to you, it will come back to you multiplied.

Mother Teresa was a Roman Catholic nun, famous for touching the hearts of the poor people in Calcutta, India. In 1979 she won the Nobel Prize for Peace.

Born 27 August, 1910 in Skopje, Macedonia; Mother Teresa famously described herself thus: “By blood I am Albania. By citizenship, an Indian. By faith, I am a Catholic nun. As to my calling, I belong to the world. As to my heart, I belong entirely to the heart of Jesus”.

The missionaries of charity and affiliated lay groups expanded throughout the 1970s and Mother Teresa received increasing recognition and financial support.

By 1979, when she accepted the Nobel Prize, she and her affiliate groups had more than 200 different operations in over 25 countries around the world.

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Later she sent her missionaries of charity into Russia, China, and Cuba, these were countries where preaching the gospel was prohibited then, yet through touching the hearts of men, Mother Teresa was able to get their hands.

In an interview with some professors from America, Mother Teresa was asked to say something that the world would remember her for, and she said, “Smile at each other, make time for each other in your family…” Love begins at home!

Jawaharlal Nehru, the famous Indian leader in his speech on the granting of independence to his people on August 14, 1947, had this to say,

“The ambition of the greatest man of our generation has been to wipe every tear from every eye”.

Nehru and his group were bent on touching the hearts of the Indians before asking for their hands in building the country.

There is nothing quite as dead as a self-centered man, a man who holds himself up as a self-made success. The man who lives for himself is a failure it is said. The elementary reason why men would not touch others’ hearts before asking for their hands is simply indifference.

Indifference is always the friend of the enemy. Indifference ordinarily means no difference. It is a strange and unnatural state in which the lines blur between light and darkness, dusk and dawn, crime and punishment, cruelty and compassion, good and evil.

It is indifference that makes people to look away from victims, and avoid being involved in another person’s pains and despair. For the person who is indifferent, his/her neighbours are of no consequence; hence, their lives are meaningless. If you ever work with a man or woman who is indifferent to people’s plights, there is no better devil than such.

According to Marcus Buckingham, the best strategy for building a competitive organisation is to help individuals become more of who they truly are.

No human organisation can get better without learning to touch hearts before asking for hands. The same goes for individuals in relation. Many homes are hell on earth because everyone chooses to mind his/her own business.

Most times people fail in their relationship simply because they are self-centered, always seeking for their personal interests, and what they will get from such a relationship rather than what to give.

Learn to treat your friends as you do your best pictures and place them in their best light. Friends communicate at a heart level. There are good ships and there are bad ships, but the best ships are friendships.

To have someone who is pleased to see you every day either in your workplace and/or at home is very important because it gives you someone who needs you.

And this gives you a sense of purpose, stops you from getting self-absorbed, and gives you a reason for getting on with life.

We live in a ‘throw-away’ society, where integrity means nothing to many, keeping your word, being there when you said you would, and being dependable and reliable, is one of the ways you can touch people’s hearts.

In touching hearts, you are going to be a friend. Being a real friend is a demanding task. You have to be loyal, honest, pleasant, open, sociable, responsive, welcoming, and gracious.

You also have to be forgiving, and be prepared to offer help, support, and sympathise with others!

Charles Ogwo, Head, Education Desk at BusinessDay Media is a seasoned proactive journalist with over a decade of reportage experience.

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