Nigerians in economic distress ‘sub-let’ frustration to relations, friends, others

…make desperate calls, send emergency messages

While on a commercial bus heading home after a tough Monday’s work, a passenger’s phone kept ringing and disturbing the peace of others, amid an evening traffic jam just building up.

Those who couldn’t bear the disturbance asked the man to either switch off or put the phone on silent mode.

But the distressed man did neither of both, instead, he kept picking the calls, saying “Hello, hello, network is bad” and cut the call afterwards.

He was not alone, as some passengers even had more calls within the one-hour turned almost three-hour journey due to the traffic snarl, but unnoticed because their phones were on silent mode.

Recently, a security man in an oil servicing company in Port Harcourt, admitted receiving regular tips from some staff members to lie to their relations visiting the office that they were on field work, out on training or any plausible lie the security team can manufacture to ward them off.

Moreover, many easily lie nowadays just to ward off disturbances from relatives constantly seeking financial assistance.

“The desperate calls and messages are unbearable. The economy is in a very bad shape and we are all in it together. But some people think you pluck money from a tree in your house. Even if I work with the Central Bank, the money does not belong to me, I am only being paid salary,” MacDon Otega, an engineer with an oil and gas company, decried.

According to him, most family members don’t believe it when you tell them you don’t have money, especially if you work for an oil company.

“Recently, I sent my cousin out of my car when he told me that the money I gave him was half of what he asked for, and that I work for an oil company, as if I don’t have a family to cater to and personal needs.

“So, I have ignored his many calls and messages for five months now, even those from unknown numbers and some relatives like him because I want to retain my sanity,” he said.

For Nkolika Modilim, a banker, being ‘pestered’ is an understatement in her case.

The Access Bank staff said that some family members, who she ignored their calls for assistance, went to the extent of walking into the banking hall, posing as customers just to spot her and continue the pestering.

“At that point, I have to save myself from a pending embarrassment and give them something with a promise to do more later.

“But it backfired because others tried the same trick. So, what I did was to inform our security and further requested be posted out of the customer care desk, which happened only when I was due for such posting,” she lamented.

The sad thing about the whole thing, according to her, is that many family members have wrong perceptions about those who they think are earning good money and are also not sincere with their requests.

“See, that one works in a bank does not mean he or she owns the money in the bank. Bank managers and CEOs still earn salaries and have more pressing needs than those asking for assistance.

“Again, how can parents who cannot afford to send their children to public schools, force them to private schools and now push the responsibility to you? It is unrealistic, even if they gave you a scholarship,” she noted.

Based on the above cases, Bola Olubunmi, an accountant with a Lagos-based FMCG company, insisted that he would not allow any family member or friend to sublet frustration to him, especially now that mental health cases are rising at an alarming rate in Nigeria.

“I will not die for anyone who does not understand that the harsh economy requires adjustment in our lifestyle and spending.

As an accountant, we are trained to be prudent with scarce resources. While I am doing that, someone now thinks I am his ATM machine. He will withdraw counterfeit from me then. Yes, I sound harsh because some relatives and friends are inconsiderate.

“They have four children, earn less, and want you that has one or two children to take over their responsibilities just because you live in a better neighbourhood and ride an SUV. I have sold my big car ooh, I am living in my uncompleted building and my children’s school, church, shopping and others are within my neighbourhood, just to save on cost. Then, someone wants me to pay his house rent in Lekki or children’s school fees in Corona. If you like, call me a million times, I will pick and tell you no,” he said.

Read also: More worries as economic hardship worsens mental health crisis

Toeing the same lane with Olubunmi, Jude Onwe, a business executive, noted that many relatives don’t appreciate your benevolence on the ground that if you don’t assist them, God will send help, yet they persist in their pestering.

“I flew to the East with my family for Christmas, but I chartered a Sienna car to convey a cousin and his family to the village. The same man went about telling people how he suffered on the road for 10 hours, while I enjoyed for less than an hour to Enugu by flight.

He did not call to thank me or say happy new year until late January when he needed assistance for one of his children’s school fees and I told him no, and not to call me again this year.

“People who pester the most are often the most ungrateful. So, don’t bother much. I have ignored many calls this year and I don’t care because they are for assistance and my benevolence has been taken for granted by some of my family members,” he said regrettably.

But Simeon Atiba, an economist, has a different view.

For him, the much pestering is due to the high cost of living, limited income and joblessness.

“With the high inflation, high unemployment and the fact that over half of our over 200 million population are living below the poverty tagline, what do you expect? The calls and messages are from those who can barely feed, help if you can because the government will not help, they even prefer that people become poorer to make vote-buying and stomach infrastructure election weapons,” he said.

Rather than ignoring calls, he suggested that one should answer and judge the calls on their merits.

“I am being pestered too, but some calls are for genuine assistance like emergency health issues. Just pick the calls and do the little you can, don’t promise what you cannot do. Will you let a brilliant relative down because of his parent’s pestering? Do it for the boy and the future, not minding if the parent will appreciate your assistance or not,” he advised.

In his humble view, Pius Omorogbe, a father of three, who falls in the category of those who pester others for help, no one should pray to beg and no sensible person begs intentionally.

He noted that those who think that they are being pestered now should rethink because life and situations change as those who are beginning now once gave to others, including those running from being pestered today.

“I have a genuine reason to pester my younger brothers and two of my brother in-laws because I assisted in establishing them in life and it is their turn to pay back, but they are dodging me,” Omorogbe said sadly.

Yakubu Aliyu, a security guard, who also pesters those he thinks have for financial assistance, noted that soon he would not be able to call or send messages again if the 50 percent tariff is implemented by telecom companies.

“Na person wey get money go buy recharge card to call Oga for help. If the money to spend to call pass the help, who go call? he asked.

His view mirrors the harsh realities for many of his folks out there, who, going forward, may not have money to buy call credit or data to reach their benefactors for assistance.

Then, Nigeria will truly happen to the poor, with no money and nobody (relatives or friends) to run too.

But Atiba insisted that pestering will not cease as long as the economy is in a bad shape, and that even during the oil boom from 1973 to 1983, some people were still being pestered by those who don’t have, despite the boom.

“You can ignore calls, put your phone on silent mode, even switch it off, lock your gates, change your address, relocate abroad, as long as you are not dead, relatives will pester you for assistance, unless you become poor and they can attest to it,” Atiba concluded.

An operator in a telecommunication industry expressed concern about the pressure Nigerians are going through, which he blamed for the so-called pestering, said: “I cannot keep track of the number of calls I get on a weekly basis. If it is not for school fees, it is for rent, or for wedding or burial; they just keep coming. It can be depressing, especially when people think you cannot say no.”