Losing Alexx forced me to ask many questions – IK Ogbonna

Actor IK Ogbonna has said the death of his closest friend, Alexx Ekubo, has left him with many questions about life. In a recent post, his first since Alexx’s passing, IK said nothing had prepared him for such a painful loss.

He wrote: “On May 11, I lost my best friend and brother. Nothing prepares you for a loss like that. “There is something I have come to realise these past few months. Every day, we see an ambulance drive past us. Sometimes it is moving fast, sometimes slowly. We look up for a second and whisper, ‘God have mercy’ or ‘Rest in peace.’ Then we continue with our day because, somehow, we always believe the person inside belongs to somebody else.

“Every day, the news tells us another person has died. We shake our heads. We type ‘RIP’. We send our condolences. Then we move on. But the truth is, you never truly understand the weight of death until it is your own person inside that vehicle, until the phone stops ringing forever, until the chair beside you remains empty, until the conversation you thought you had time to finish suddenly becomes memories.”
IK said that had been his reality since Alexx’s death.

“For the past two months, I have been trying to understand life, trying to understand loss, trying to understand God, trying to understand why someone so full of life can suddenly become a memory. I still don’t have all the answers. In fact, I don’t think anyone does.

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“Losing Alexx forced me to ask myself questions I’d never really asked before. Why do we live the way we do? Why do we chase tomorrow as though tomorrow signed a contract with us? Why do we postpone love? Why do we postpone forgiveness? Why do we postpone phone calls? Why do we convince ourselves there will always be another birthday, another Christmas, another conversation, another ‘I’ll see you next week’?
“The truth is, tomorrow is a privilege, not a promise. All we own is this moment.”

Reliving their friendship, IK said they shared a close bond. “Alexx and I spoke about everything. We laughed about growing old. We dreamed about businesses, movies we wanted to create, places we wanted to travel, the lives we imagined for our children, success, legacy and family. We truly believed we had time. Neither of us imagined one of us would leave first. Life had another plan. Or perhaps God simply had a different plan.”
Despite the pain, IK said he has found peace.

“As painful as it is, I have found peace in believing that God’s wisdom is greater than mine. There are questions my heart still asks that my mind cannot answer. But faith reminds me that not every answer is meant to be understood on this side of eternity.
“One day, every single one of us will become somebody’s memory. The only question is: What kind of memory will we become? Will people remember what we owned or how we loved? Will they remember our possessions or our presence? Will they remember our success or our significance?”

He also expressed gratitude for the friendship they shared. “Alexx, my brother, thank you. For every conversation, every correction, every laugh, every disagreement that made us stronger. Thank you for believing in me. Thank you for trusting me enough to call me your brother. It remains one of the greatest honours of my life.

“You may no longer be beside me, but you will always walk within me. I promise to keep living, to keep building, to keep giving and to keep showing up, to leave the world better than I met it. Because if your life taught me anything, it is that our time here is not measured by how long we live but by how deeply we love.”