Communication is the foundation of any strong marriage, but it’s not just about the words you say. Studies have shown that communication is 7% words, 38% tone, and 55% body language. This means that the way you communicate—your tone, facial expressions, and body language—can have a greater impact on your spouse than the actual content of your message. If your approach is harsh or dismissive, even the most well-intentioned words can be misinterpreted.
For example, let’s say you need to discuss a serious issue with your partner. You’ve carefully chosen your words, but your tone is harsh, and your arms are crossed. Despite the words you’re saying, your body language might come across as defensive or aggressive. Your partner, rather than focusing on the content of the message, might feel attacked or belittled, which can lead to a defensive reaction and escalate the situation.
One practical tip is to check your emotions before initiating any conversation, especially one that could be sensitive. Are you angry, stressed, or anxious? If so, it’s better to wait until you’re calm before addressing the issue. Starting a conversation from a place of emotional imbalance can result in miscommunication and lead to unnecessary conflicts.
Additionally, be mindful of your body language. Non-verbal communication, like maintaining eye contact, offering a reassuring touch, or simply sitting in a relaxed posture, can significantly affect the tone of the conversation. For example, during a disagreement, placing your hand on your spouse’s arm or maintaining soft eye contact can help de-escalate tension and show that you are open to hearing their point of view.
Your tone of voice is another powerful tool in your communication arsenal. A soft, calm tone communicates that you are willing to discuss issues without attacking your partner. On the other hand, a raised voice, even when you’re not angry, can easily be interpreted as aggressive or disrespectful. For example, saying, “Can we talk about this later?” in a harsh tone can feel dismissive, while a gentle tone with the same words can convey a sense of care and attentiveness.
A practical exercise you can try is recording yourself while having a conversation with your spouse. This will allow you to hear your tone and observe your body language from an outsider’s perspective. It’s often surprising to see how different our communication style can come across compared to how we perceive it ourselves.
Effective communication is not just about getting your message across but also about ensuring that your spouse feels heard, respected, and understood. By being mindful of your approach, you can foster healthier and more productive conversations, ultimately strengthening your connection.
If you want to book a session or download a free eBook for your marriage, you can visit www.nikefolagbade.com
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