The thing I’m learning is that if my yes, is not a full, enthusiastic YES! Then it’s really a NO, I’m no longer betraying myself.
This month, a friend of mine encouraged me to take on a job, I wasn’t sure if it was what I wanted, mostly because of my NGO, which I still had to run. I was a bit resistant, but I went for the job interview and got the job. I pushed my day of resumption a week later because I was still trying to convince myself about why I needed to take the job. The day before resumption came and I had a full-blown nervous breakdown and crying episode because a part of me didn’t want this. I made it to work on the day and I was miserable throughout the whole day, I questioned my reason for accepting to take this job and I knew I didn’t want to be there, yet a part of me still wanted to please my friend who got the job for me, the new boss and a host of imaginary people I had created in my head. I resigned the next day, probably making me the shortest employed staff ever. I had learnt throughout my self-love and personal development journey that my happiness is paramount and I had to put myself first.
So many of us fall victim of being in relationships, jobs, environments or situations that aren’t favourable for us; we find it difficult to say no and say yes to every request. We compromise on our happiness just to satisfy every other thing or person asides ourselves. It’s only a matter of time before you burn out. You cannot pour out of an empty cup. Loving yourself means caring for yourself deeply, making your sleep, nutrition and well-being a priority. Putting yourself first in no way makes you selfish, as you can only give what you have. When you love yourself enough you’ll understand that you are the only one you have; there’s just one of you.
Here are tips on how to put yourself first;
Learn to say no; establish your priorities, keep it short; remember the reason why you are deciding to put yourself first; b e consistent
Keep a balance between treating yourself and giving to others.
Putting yourself first is not selfish or self-centred. It is healthy. It’s loving and it’s caring and it’s nurturing.
And you deserve it.
Chioma Nwosu
Chioma Nwosu is a mental health/positive psychology advocate, speaker and founder of Olamma Cares Foundation an NGO focused on encouraging the social acceptance of developmental disabilities and mental disorders, finding and implementing long term solutions of these conditions through training, capacity building, advocacy and intervention.
Email: [email protected] Instagram: _olamma_
