In my work with women, I’ve had to counsel different women who were in a complicated issue. Suddenly, in their 2, 3, 5 or more years in marriage, their husbands are suddenly demanding for a long-distance marriage.
Now, it’s different if the separation is based on education, work or health purposes. I am talking about a separation being demanded out of the blues. Usually, it could be that there have been misunderstandings over minor and major issues.
If you have found yourself in this situation, I understand that you can currently feel helpless, confused and frustrated. Especially, when every argument leads to the same conclusion – Separation. This can hinder your growth because you would not be able to focus on work, your progress and any step you want to take that can lead to your advancement.
Read also: How to set boundaries in your relationships
Here are few tips that can help you deal with the issues better:
Take time to understand his reasons: Instead of arguing with your spouse every moment this topic comes up, take time to listen and understand his reasons. If you get defensive immediately which may happen, your spouse may decide to harden up on the issue.
So, ask questions.
“Why would you like us to live separately?”
Usually, we advise premarital couples to discuss their plans and beliefs on important topics which also includes desired place of location and relocation, but marriage has a way of revealing deeper motives as time goes and some issues can spring up in an unplanned way.
You can also ask questions like:
“Is there anything I am doing wrong that makes you think we need to stay apart?”
“How do you intend to navigate the marriage while living apart?