Ditch the “God when”, here are steps to finding love before Valentine’s Day

Valentine’s Day is less than a month away, and you are still single this year. It is your consistency for me. We know you are preparing to post “God when” on every couple’s post across all social media platforms and play love with your imaginary partner.

If you are not tired, we are tired on your behalf.

Dear comrade, you must find love before Valentine’s, and we are here to ensure that happens.

Here are steps to finding love before Valentine’s Day.

Pray
“May we not jam agbako”. The goal is not just to find love but to find it in the right person. So my dear single brother and sister, get on your knees and pray.

Go out
Love will not find you when all you do is stay indoors, stuck to your phone. This weekend, leave your house, go to the park, the cinema, picnic, and weddings. Go out there and mingle.

Smile
Don’t scare off potential partners with your forever-serious face. Smile, show some teeth. How else will that special someone know your future kids will inherit your gorgeous smile?

Wait after service
Another Sunday is coming, and just like always, you will run off immediately after sharing the grace, haba na. Your partner might just be the guy or lady sitting next to you waiting to talk to you after service, but no, immediately they start sharing the grace, you are already at the gate. Stop it, don’t do that this Sunday.

Drop the strict rules
“I can not date my co-worker”, “I can not date my friend; he is my guy.” If this sounds like you, we don’t have words for you.

Reply your DM
That energy you use to type “God when” under every post, use that same energy to reply your DM. Only you have over a thousand unread messages on social media and you still dare say you are looking for love. We are not prophets, but we are certain when we say your partner is already in your DM.

Post pictures
You are single, and all you have on your social media account are items for sale, memes, and one old picture you took 10 years ago. Get a new hairstyle, dress up and share your beauty with the world and that potential partner.

With a 99.999% certainty that these steps never fail, we’re eagerly anticipating those beautiful loved-up pictures this Valentine’s Day. And as you enjoy the gifts this Valentine, do not forget where the help came from.

Cheers to a love-filled Valentine’s celebration.